Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The increasing housing problem in big cities has social consequences. Some people say that only government can solve this problem. v.3

The increasing housing problem in big cities has social consequences. Some people say that only government can solve this problem. v. 3
The population of the world is increasing each day and more and more people in most of the countries are moving to the big cities for the hope of a better life and this trend has an ultimate consequence of housing problem. I believe that government has a vital role to solve the problem by decentralising the big cities and by building industries in remote areas of the main cities. The big cities of a country have more job opportunities than the rural and remote areas and this is the major reason people every day moving to big cities. Since most of the industries, office perimeters and other organisations are situated in the city areas and these create a high potential for all level of people to earn their living. The agriculture of the village are not profitable anymore and the over increasing price of agricultural products bound the farmers to have an alternative profession and to move to a big city. Second reason, so many people move to big cities, is the educational institutes are mostly in the city areas and students each year come to these metropolitan cities for a better education. There are lots more reasons people moving to cities each day and I believe the government has the vital role to stop this phenomenon by decentralising the city areas. There is no necessity for a University to be situated in the centre of  a city and the government can easily force the organisations and industries to move to remote areas and new industries to be built outside the main city. More people need more houses to stay in, and as people moving to the cities daily the rent of the apartments are increasing dramatically. Many people with an average income can’t afford to rent a room and living a miserable life. There are lots of street-living people who cause the city become more polluted. Due to street-life and because of over increasing housing problem, the number of violence and crime are increasing too.
The population of the world is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
each day and more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in most of the countries are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for the hope of a better life and this trend has an ultimate consequence of housing problem. I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has a vital role to solve the problem by
Possible spelling mistake. 'decentralising' is British English.
decentralising
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and by building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
in remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of the main cities.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
of a country have more job opportunities than the rural and remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and this is the major reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
every day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Since most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
, office perimeters and other
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
are situated
in the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and these create a high potential for all level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to earn their living. The agriculture of the village are not profitable anymore and the over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
price of agricultural products bound the farmers to have an alternative profession and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
city. Second reason,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, is the educational institutes are
mostly
in the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and students each year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to these metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for a better education. There are lots more reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
each day and I believe the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has the vital role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
this phenomenon by
Possible spelling mistake. 'decentralising' is British English.
decentralising
the city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. There is no necessity for a University to
be situated
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
a city and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
easily
force the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
to
be built
outside the main city.

More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
to stay in, and as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
daily the rent of the apartments are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
dramatically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with an average income can’t afford to rent a room and living a miserable life. There are lots of street-living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who cause the city become more polluted. Due to street-life and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
housing problem, the number of violence and crime are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
too.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay The increasing housing problem in big cities has social consequences. Some people say that only government can solve this problem. v. 3

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
337 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts