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Space exploration is a luxury that we cannot afford. Instead of spending billions of dollars on space programs, governments should use this money to fight global problems such as poverty, disease and climate change. To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Space exploration is a luxury that we cannot afford. Instead of spending billions of dollars on space programs, governments should use this money to fight global problems such as poverty, disease and climate change. v. 1
Learning new things are always good – but learning on the cost of compromising major issues will be considered as stupidity. Aforementioned statement about focusing on poverty, medical assistance and making this world a beautiful place to live by working on the environment can draw anyone’s attention on the importance of these necessary aspects of life. I strongly agree with the point that instead of spending billions in exploration of space, we must focus on the bigger issues that a majority of population is facing. Almost one third or more of this world’s population is spending their lives below the poverty line. There are people who starved for several days and don’t have enough food for them or their families. There are water crises all over the world which needs our attention more than exploring the outer space. In Africa, there are places where people are forced to drink muddy water which causes epidemic stomach problems. Same is the case with medical assistance. The amount governments are investing in such programs, can be used to find cure of expensive diseases like cancer, HIV etc. as hundreds of thousand people died every year due to these diseases. In addition to this, there are countries where people cannot even bare the cost of cure for normal diseases which eventually become life taking in most of the cases. Helping people in getting such services will serve the humanity in a better way than to send a team of scientist in space for research. On the contrary, with every passing day, our world is facing issue of global warming and pollution which is making this world unsafe for all of us. Government should spend on educating the people on how to make this world a better place to live by protecting if from pollution free. To recapitulate, I must say that by overcoming all above stated problems, we can make this world a place of peace and harmony for each and every one of us.
Learning new things are always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
learning on the cost of compromising major issues will
be considered
as stupidity. Aforementioned statement about focusing on poverty, medical assistance and making this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
by working on the environment can draw anyone’s attention on the importance of these necessary aspects of life. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the point that
instead
of spending billions in exploration of space, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
focus on the bigger issues that a majority of population is facing.

Almost one third or more of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
population is spending their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
below the poverty line. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who starved for several days and don’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
food for them or their families. There are water crises all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
which needs our attention more than exploring the outer space. In Africa, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are forced
to drink muddy water which causes epidemic stomach problems.

Same is the case with medical assistance. The amount
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are investing in such programs, can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to find cure of expensive diseases like cancer, HIV etc. as
To describe a large number approximately, write "hundreds of thousands of".
hundreds of thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
every year due to these diseases.
In addition
to this, there are countries where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot even
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
bare
the cost of cure for normal diseases which
eventually
become life taking in most of the cases. Helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in getting such services will serve the humanity in a better way than to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a
Possible agreement error. The noun 'scientist' seems to be countable; consider using: "team of scientists".
team of scientist
in space for research.

On the contrary
, with every passing day, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is facing issue of global warming and pollution which is making this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
unsafe for all of us.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should spend on educating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
by protecting if from pollution free.

To recapitulate, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
say that by overcoming all above stated problems, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
of peace and harmony for
Consider using "each one".
each and every one
of us.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Space exploration is a luxury that we cannot afford. Instead of spending billions of dollars on space programs, governments should use this money to fight global problems such as poverty, disease and climate change. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
331 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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