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Government around the world should stop spending billions of dollars on space research while there are millions people living below poverty line on planet earth. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Government around the world should stop spending billions of dollars on space research while there are millions people living below poverty line on planet earth. v. 1
Space research which requires billions of dollars has been becoming a common phenomenon of governments of different countries around the world where as millions of inhabitants of those countries are deprived of basic living necessities. Though uncovering the mystery of space is a need for humans for future safety and survival, most government do this for business, political, educational and technological purposes. With the advancement of technology nations are being dependent on commercial satellites for telecommunication, security satellites for monitoring and defense and some other satellites for weather forecast, air and marine trafficking. Business information like demand of products, reaching product information to consumer; rising social awareness and motivational information transferring to general people; different educational program on agriculture and food processing; health, illness and disease prevention methods, safety procedures and many other livelihood issues are being broadcasted in the media through commercial satellite which has common citizen interest. Moreover, weather forecast allows people to prepare before disaster hence minimizes damage of assets and loss of lives. Furthermore, online educational programs run by different universities saves money and time by which education and information became accessible to remote community using telecommunication satellite. On the other hand space research budget is a very little amount compared to huge annual costs of governments which has very tiny impact on their expenditure and affordability. In addition to these governments can grow revenue from rents of commercial satellites to enhance their national growth. So expenses on space research are not a waste of money rather it is a necessity for the governments.
Space
research which requires billions of dollars has been becoming a common phenomenon of
governments
of
different
countries around the world
where as
millions of inhabitants of those countries
are deprived
of basic living necessities. Though uncovering the mystery of
space
is a need for humans for future safety and survival, most
government
do this for business, political, educational and technological purposes. With the advancement of technology nations are being dependent on commercial satellites for telecommunication, security satellites for monitoring and defense and
some
other satellites for weather forecast, air and marine trafficking. Business
information
like demand of products, reaching product
information
to consumer; rising social awareness and motivational
information
transferring to general
people
;
different
educational program on agriculture and food processing; health, illness and disease prevention methods, safety procedures and
many
other livelihood issues are
being broadcasted
in the media through commercial satellite which has common citizen interest.
Moreover
, weather forecast
allows
people
to prepare
before
disaster
hence
minimizes
damage of
assets and loss of
lives
.
Furthermore
, online educational programs run by
different
universities saves money and time by which education and
information
became accessible to remote community using telecommunication satellite.
On the other hand
space
research budget is a
very
little
amount compared to huge annual costs of
governments
which has
very
tiny impact on their expenditure and affordability.
In addition
to these
governments
can grow revenue from rents of commercial satellites to enhance their national growth.
So
expenses on
space
research are not a waste of money
rather
it is a necessity for the
governments
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Government around the world should stop spending billions of dollars on space research while there are millions people living below poverty line on planet earth. v. 1

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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