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Someone suggests school to cut the Recycling. Do you agree or disagreewith this suggestion, explain why. v.1

Someone suggests school to cut the Recycling. with this suggestion, explain why. v. 1
Society these days are becoming obsessed with the material goods and luxuries like expensive cars, branded clothes and high value and dazzling jewellery. On the flip side, the people don’t care about the moral values as a consequence families are breaking, the value system created by our ancestors is damaging. I firmly believe the materialistic nature of humans is the root of all these problems. These days everyone wants to live a life with all the comforts. But the people don’t care whatever it costs them. When the persons go for shopping, a chemical names Dopamine is released in their mind that gives them a feeling of joy. So people are more and more attracted towards this enjoyment. Meanwhile the masses do not bother about the feelings of their partners or what stress their partner will go through to buy that materialistic comfort. However, the real satisfaction of being with families, loving the family members and caring for each other’s needs is left behind in the race of life. Everybody is living a life of competition, which is making them to run for such goals and ambitions which can be bought on the price of leaving the family members. It can be stated that such race makes the people wealthy of all the luxuries but poor with the moral ethics and personal relationships. It can be concluded that people should aim to get good wealth and comfort but must never forget about the family ethics, values and the people that support the one in his or her journey.
Society these days are becoming obsessed with the material
goods
and luxuries like expensive cars, branded clothes and high
value
and dazzling
jewellery
. On the flip side, the
people
don’t care about the moral values as a consequence
families
are breaking, the
value
system created by our ancestors is damaging. I
firmly
believe the materialistic nature of humans is the root of all these problems.

These days everyone wants to
live
a life with all the comforts.
But
the
people
don’t care whatever it costs them. When the persons go for shopping, a chemical names Dopamine
is released
in their mind that gives them a feeling of joy.
So
people
are more and more attracted towards this enjoyment.
Meanwhile
the masses do not bother about the feelings of their partners or what
stress
their partner will go through to
buy
that materialistic comfort.

However
, the real satisfaction of being with
families
, loving the
family
members and caring for each other’s needs is
left
behind in the race of life. Everybody is living a life of competition, which is making them to run for such goals and ambitions which can be
bought
on the price of leaving the
family
members. It can
be stated
that such race
makes
the
people
wealthy of all the luxuries
but
poor with the moral ethics and personal relationships.

It can
be concluded
that
people
should aim to
get
good
wealth and comfort
but
must
never forget about the
family
ethics, values and the
people
that support the one in
his or her
journey.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Someone suggests school to cut the Recycling. with this suggestion, explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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