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Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems does it cause? What can be done to solve this problem? v.8

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems does it cause? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 8
The younger generation is now on the lookout for better opportunities, due to which they are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, which leaves only older people in the villages. The situation described is mainly due to the increasing number of professionals who are in search of challenging jobs and a city life, which would give them better career growth. At the same time, they are fascinated by the attractive lifestyle in cities, because of the night life, shopping and a more active lifestyle offered. However, in the suburban areas, the pace is slower and more relaxed, which is preferred by the older generation. For instance, in Dubai, the work culture is not only fast and competitive with higher growth prospects, but also has a variety of job openings. Nevertheless, a nearby place like Al Ain, is less developed with a relaxed culture which is preferred by the older generation away from the City hustle. Due to the above, the Suburban areas have a higher percentage of older people, which causes an imbalance. There are not enough people to do normal jobs which would affect the economy. Development in these areas becomes stunted and gets concentrated in some cities, which impacts the overall economy. Furthermore, as the need for development reduces, requirement of better infrastructure is also eliminated. There is also a possibility of an increase in crime rate, as these areas become secluded and sparsely populated. Therefore, it is important that, Governments take initiative to develop various areas of a Country, by providing equal opportunities in various fields of work. To eliminate the problems related to the concentration of a certain age group, it is also recommended that, various industries are spread across the Country. Perhaps, it would assist in controlling the population density in various cities. We can conclude that, measures should be taken by local bodies in developing cities equally by providing good education and job opportunities. For example, if there are schools and Universities in the Countryside with quality education, it will attract students. At the same time, if there is good infrastructure provided by the Government in all areas, private companies will consider investing in industries in the suburbs as well. Hence, it is vital to have a mix of age groups in all parts to improve the quality of life and growth of a Country.
The younger generation is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
on the lookout for better opportunities, due to which they are leaving the countryside to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and towns, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the villages. The situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
is
mainly
due to the increasing number of professionals who are in search of challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and a city life, which would give them better career growth. At the same time, they
are fascinated
by the attractive lifestyle in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
night life
, shopping and a more active lifestyle offered.
However
, in the suburban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, the pace is slower and more relaxed, which
is preferred
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
generation.
For instance
, in Dubai, the work culture is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and competitive with higher growth prospects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
has a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
openings.
Nevertheless
, a nearby place like Al Ain, is less developed with a relaxed culture which
is preferred
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
generation away from the City hustle.

Due to the above, the Suburban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
have a higher percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which causes an imbalance. There are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to do normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which would affect the economy. Development in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
becomes stunted and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
concentrated in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, which impacts the
overall
economy.
Furthermore
, as the need for development
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
, requirement of better infrastructure is
also
eliminated. There is
also
a possibility of an increase in crime rate, as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
become secluded and
sparsely
populated.

Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
take initiative to develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
of a Country, by providing equal opportunities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
fields of work. To eliminate the problems related to the concentration of a certain age group, it is
also
recommended that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
industries
are spread
across the Country. Perhaps, it would assist in controlling the population density in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
cities.

We can conclude that, measures should
be taken
by local bodies in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
equally
by providing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities.
For example
, if there are schools and Universities in the Countryside with quality education, it will attract students. At the same time, if there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
infrastructure provided by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will consider investing in industries in the suburbs
as well
.
Hence
, it is vital to have a mix of age groups in all parts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of life and growth of a Country.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems does it cause? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
394 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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