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Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in countryside? What problems does this cause? What can be done to solve this problem? v.1

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in countryside? What problems does this cause? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 1
Deciding where to live is one of the most difficult choices in life. Rising economy levels resulted in expanding urban areas and the younger population leaving the countryside. This has caused social problems ant the government should take measures to tackle this case. First and foremost, massive migration to cities and towns caused immense difficulties in relationships between the adolescents and the seniors. For instance, an elder who is not capable of using state-of-the-art technologies was forced to move with his offsprings who were looking for a lucrative position at one of the town's companies. Seniors are not able to fully take care of themselves, therefore they are either forgotten and visited only occasionally or unwillingly torn from their home. This situation can be solved with meddle of the government. As youngsters are in search of a prosperous job, various local companies, encouraged by the government, could open new factories in rural areas. This would bring benefits for both sides: workforce for the businesses and vacancies for the local dwellers. Moreover, the government ought to offer welfares for the ones willing to start their own business in the countryside. By doing this, the younger part of the population will be attracted to move to villages. To sum everything up, the countryside becomes less and less populated with young people. This causes problems for the elderly and social relations between generations. The government must take action to prevent this situation from getting adverse. Otherwise, cities will become overcrowded and most of the citizens remain unemployed.
Deciding where to
live
is one of the most difficult choices in life. Rising economy levels resulted in expanding urban areas and the younger population leaving the countryside. This has caused social problems ant the
government
should take measures to tackle this case.

First
and foremost, massive migration to cities and towns caused immense difficulties in relationships between the adolescents and the seniors.
For instance
, an elder who is not capable of using state-of-the-art technologies
was forced
to
move
with his
offsprings
who were looking for a lucrative position at one of the town's
companies
. Seniors are not able to
fully
take care of themselves,
therefore
they are either forgotten and visited
only
occasionally
or
unwillingly
torn from their home.

This situation can
be solved
with meddle of the
government
. As youngsters are in search of a prosperous job, various local
companies
, encouraged by the
government
, could open new factories in rural areas. This would bring benefits for both sides: workforce for the businesses and vacancies for the local dwellers.
Moreover
, the
government
ought to offer
welfares
for the ones willing to
start
their
own
business in the countryside. By doing this, the younger part of the population will
be attracted
to
move
to villages.

To sum everything up, the countryside becomes less and less populated with young
people
. This causes problems for the elderly and social relations between generations. The
government
must
take action to
prevent
this situation from getting adverse.
Otherwise
, cities will become overcrowded and most of the citizens remain unemployed.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in countryside? What problems does this cause? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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