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Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in countryside? What problems does this cause? What can be done to solve this problem? v.3

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in countryside? What problems does this cause? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 3
Nowadays, some of young people are moving away from rural area, leaving old people behind. While at least three negative consequences could result from this situation, some straightforward measures can be adopted to alleviate them. The problems posed by the migration of the young people are manifold. Perhaps the major issue we need to tackle with is the negative impacts on the economic status of the non-urban areas. Young people play an important role in available force labour in these areas as they are more suitable than older ones for jobs demanding physically or involving new technology. Besides, they constitute the majority of workers in the countryside. Therefore, many sectors including farming and industry might run into problems with force labour. This situation would decrease the output of them, and as a result, it would put these areas in economic depression. A second challenge is increasing the cost of health services. Many of older adults in the countryside live with their children or even they live separately, their children take care of them. Without their children, the governments are responsible for taking care of old people. In fact, the authorities should pay money for nurses and improve infrastructures like health centres and hospitals. Finally, older people may suffer from psychiatric disorders. This population usually tend to spend time with their family and rely on them and in fact, they are tied to younger people. If young members of their family move to cities, they would not cope with the feelings of loneliness and get mentally ill. Therefore, a number of effective remedies must be implemented to tackle these issues. First key step would be providing an incentive for young people to come back and stay in the non-urban areas. Infrastructures such as mall shops, entertainment centres, public transportation and hospitals should be expanded into these areas because this may lead to an increase in quality of life of young people who are seeking a better life in cities and towns and therefore, they would be willing to stay in the countryside. A further step could be attracting inhabitants of urban areas to live in the countryside. Some people, especially young adults, prefer to live in places, allowing them to save money on the cost of living. The government could subsidize fuel, housing and education. Therefore, this approach may recover the population of young individuals in these areas over the time and prevent these places from facing problem relating to migration of young adults. By way of conclusion, the movement of young people to the cities and towns may lead to an economic depression in these areas, overspending health care budget and increasing the risk of mental diseases among older people, but this situation could be addressed by getting approaches improving quality of life of young people living in the countryside and attracting inhabitants of urban areas involved.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are moving away from rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, leaving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
behind. While at least three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences could result from this situation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
straightforward measures can
be adopted
to alleviate them.

The problems posed by the migration of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are manifold. Perhaps the major issue we need to tackle with is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the economic status of the non-urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in available force
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
as they are more suitable than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
ones for jobs demanding
physically
or involving new technology.
Besides
, they constitute the majority of workers in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sectors including farming and industry might run into problems with force
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
. This situation would decrease the output of them, and
as a result
, it would put these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
in economic depression. A second challenge is increasing the cost of health services.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
adults in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their children or even they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
separately
, their children take care of them. Without their children, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are responsible for taking care of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In fact, the authorities should pay money for nurses and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
infrastructures like health
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and hospitals.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may suffer from psychiatric disorders. This population
usually
tend to spend time with their family and rely on them and in fact, they
are tied
to younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
members of their family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to cities, they would not cope with the feelings of loneliness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
mentally ill.

Therefore
, a number of effective remedies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be implemented
to tackle these issues.
First
key step would be providing an incentive for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back and stay in the non-urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Infrastructures such as mall shops, entertainment
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, public transportation and hospitals should
be expanded
into these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this may lead to an increase in quality of life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are seeking a better life in cities and towns and
therefore
, they would be willing to stay in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. A
further
step could be attracting inhabitants of urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults, prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in places, allowing them to save money on the cost of living. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could subsidize fuel, housing and education.
Therefore
, this approach may recover the population of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
individuals in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
over the time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
these places from facing problem relating to migration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults.

By way of conclusion, the movement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to the cities and towns may lead to an economic depression in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, overspending health care budget and increasing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of mental diseases among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this situation could
be addressed
by getting approaches improving quality of life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
and attracting inhabitants of urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
involved.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in countryside? What problems does this cause? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
477 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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