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Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in countryside? What problems does this cause? What can be done to solve this problem? v.4

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in countryside? What problems does this cause? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 4
Major cities of the most countries in the world are expanding at a very fast rate in terms of populations. One of the most common reasons found is the influx of young people from the smaller cities or towns to bigger cities for better job opportunities. This trend leaves rural areas with a sharp decline in percentage of youngsters to the total population. As a result, multiple problems in the social and economic sector are experienced by people. One of the major problems is drop in young workforce in small cities. Young people work in multiple sectors- for example, banking, carpentry, small industry etc. , hence contributing to the economy of the countryside. Migration of young adults leads to decrease in the new talent available in the rural areas and economic growth of the villages is hence impacted. Not just rural areas, but cities are also economically impacted because of migration. Another major problem is social security of the older people. It is well established fact that burglar/rogues target the houses where only elderly people live. Studies suggest that many old folks face mental issues such as depression, anxiety etc. , because they feel lonely. In case of health emergencies, often help is delayed because there is no one to take care of them. Considering the seriousness of the resultant problems of this trend, the government must put efforts to solve the problems caused by the migration of youngsters to bigger cities. In most of the cases, adolescents or youngsters move to cities for better education, better job opportunities or a better lifestyle. If the administration sets up good facilities for higher education in the villages, such as- by opening more colleges, then less people will leave for educational purposes. The government should try to create more job opportunities in the villages. The governments can take inspiration from Japan, where the administration established laws to increase the establishment of companies in rural areas, and consequently providing jobs for young rural people in both skilled and unskilled sectors. Government should encourage self employment and the growth of small sector industry by giving away loans to people associated. To conclude, many socioeconomic problems may arise in big cities and the countryside because of the influx of large populations from rural areas. This migration can only be decreased if the governments take necessary actions to provide education and jobs in the countryside as well.
Major
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cities
of the most countries in the world are expanding at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
rate in terms of populations. One of the most common reasons found is the influx of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
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people
from the smaller
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cities
or towns to bigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for
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better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities. This trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
with a sharp decline in percentage of youngsters to the total population.
As a result
, multiple
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problems
in the social and economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
are experienced
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

One of the major
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problems
is drop in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
workforce in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work in multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors-
for example
, banking, carpentry,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
industry etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
hence
contributing to the economy of the countryside.
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Migration
of
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young
adults leads to decrease in the new talent available in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and economic growth of the villages is
hence
impacted. Not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
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rural
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areas
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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cities
are
also
economically
impacted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
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migration
. Another major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is social security of the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is well established fact that burglar/rogues target the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
elderly
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. Studies suggest that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
folks face mental issues such as depression, anxiety etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel lonely. In case of health emergencies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
is delayed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no one to take care of them.

Considering the seriousness of the resultant
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problems
of this trend, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
put efforts to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
caused by the
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migration
of youngsters to bigger
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cities
. In most of the cases, adolescents or youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for
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better
education,
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better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
lifestyle. If the administration sets up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
facilities for higher education in the villages, such as- by opening more colleges, then
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
for educational purposes. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should try to create more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities in the villages. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can take inspiration from Japan, where the administration established laws to increase the establishment of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
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areas
, and
consequently
providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in both skilled and unskilled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should encourage self employment and the growth of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
industry by giving away loans to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
associated.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
socioeconomic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
may arise in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and the countryside
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the influx of large populations from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migration
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be decreased
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
take necessary actions to provide education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in the countryside
as well
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in countryside? What problems does this cause? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
401 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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