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Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in countryside? What problems does this cause? What can be done to solve this problem? v.2

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in countryside? What problems does this cause? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 2
Urban life has attracted many young people from rural areas over recent years. Today, a number of young individuals are moving from rural to urban in order to live. As a result of this, elderly people are continuing to live in rural places. This trend causes some problems such as overpopulation in cities and towns and a decrease in the productivity of agriculture. However, the government can solve these problems by investing in agriculture and facilities in the countryside. Living in urban areas is thought that it offers a variety of job opportunities and this result in the fact that young people, who live in rural places, lead to move to cities and towns. However, there are some problems which the trend creates. Firstly, overpopulation is a major concern for many cities due to the loss of attraction of the countryside. For instance, in Turkey, the number of people living in urban places has dramatically increased since 1990s. Secondly, the fact that rural places, where is the most important area to produce food, lost their popularity result in a decrease in the agricultural production. The reason is that rural people moved to cities and towns to have a higher life standard. Despite some problems, there are some solutions which the government can implement. Creating job opportunities in rural areas would be the most effective solution. For example, the government can build factories in those places so that young people work in the industry. In addition, the administrators can promote agriculture among youngsters. To illustrate, young people enjoy food production and live in the countryside if the government financially supports them, and introduce modern agricultural methods. In conclusion, rural life has gradually lost its popularity over a period of three decades. Youth prefer to live in cities and towns due to attractive opportunities and the trend is resulting in the overpopulation as a problem, and also the demise of agriculture. However, the government can address these problems related to population and agriculture by investing in rural areas young people to have a desire for rural life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has attracted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
over recent years.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
individuals are moving from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
.
As a result
of this, elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are continuing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. This trend causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as overpopulation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
and a decrease in the productivity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
by investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
and facilities in the countryside.

Living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that it offers a variety of job opportunities and this result in the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which the trend creates.
Firstly
, overpopulation is a major concern for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
due to the loss of attraction of the countryside.
For instance
, in Turkey, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
has
dramatically
increased since 1990s.
Secondly
, the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, where is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
to produce food, lost their popularity result in a decrease in the agricultural production. The reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
to have a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
standard.

Despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can implement. Creating job opportunities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
would be the most effective solution.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can build factories in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work in the industry.
In addition
, the administrators can promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
among youngsters. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy food production and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the countryside if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
financially
supports them, and introduce modern agricultural methods.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has
gradually
lost its popularity over a period of three decades. Youth prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
due to attractive opportunities and the trend is resulting in the overpopulation as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, and
also
the demise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can address these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
related to population and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
agriculture
by investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have a desire for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in countryside? What problems does this cause? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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