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Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation? v.3

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation? v. 3
These days, it has become a trend to go the cities for the better settlement of the future. Many believe that outside the town, they will be getting better lifestyle and education. It affects an individual, personal and professional life. Hence, youngsters are leaving their families and their grandparents in the village and moving to the urban areas for the betterment of their upcoming life. This essay will discuss the problems related to this move and will also suggest the solution. To begin with, youngsters are moving into town in search of better studies and job opportunities. One of the problems that might occur as a result of young people moving to cities is that cities might become overcrowded. Population explosion put a lot of pressure on the city’s infrastructure, which, in turn, might inflate the property prices. In cities, there are good universities which will help them in improving their career. By studying in the renowned universities, they will get plenty of good jobs. This is the main reason why human beings preferred to move to the cities leaving their old generation in the rural areas. They have no one to take care of the older people when they need support the most. Moreover, this is the main reason why folks are seeking admission to old age homes where they may receive adequate care. The problem can be solved if the government provides some opportunities to the village people by providing them good educational institutions and job options. As a result, people will not leave their home and will prefer to stay in their village only. The government should sign up some agreement with the big companies for creating opportunities in rural areas. To sum up, old people play an important role in our society as their knowledge and experience can help the society to grow. Thus, there becomes an urgent need to implement some effective measures so that country can grow with balanced growth.
These days, it has become a trend to go the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for the better settlement of the future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that outside the town, they will be getting better lifestyle and education. It affects an individual, personal and professional life.
Hence
, youngsters are leaving their families and their grandparents in the village and moving to the urban areas for the betterment of their upcoming life. This essay will discuss the problems related to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
and will
also
suggest the solution.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, youngsters are moving into town in search of better studies and job opportunities. One of the problems that might occur
as a result
of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
might become overcrowded. Population explosion put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pressure on the city’s infrastructure, which, in turn, might inflate the property prices. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
universities which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in improving their career. By studying in the renowned universities, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
jobs. This is the main reason why human beings preferred to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
leaving their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation in the rural areas. They have no one to take care of the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when they need support the most.
Moreover
, this is the main reason why folks are seeking admission to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age homes where they may receive adequate care.

The problem can
be solved
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opportunities to the village
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by providing them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
educational institutions and job options.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their home and will prefer to stay in their village
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
agreement with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
for creating opportunities in rural areas.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our society as their knowledge and experience can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the society to grow.
Thus
, there becomes an urgent need to implement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effective measures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that country can grow with balanced growth.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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