Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. v. 2
Some leisure time activities become fashionable for a very short time and then disappear when new trendy one comes, whereas others seem to be popular permanently. I can therefore only partly agree with that hobbies reflect changing fashions rather than our true interest. On the one hand, it is true that many hobbies are simply passing trends. Especially children and teenagers get attracted to what is popular currently among their peers easily. For example, my nephew who is 10 years old boy is always crazy with what his peers are into. A year ago, most of the boys in his classroom started to go football class on weekends, and he also insisted on his family to go to football class. Later, some of his friends started to lose interest in football class, they wanted to do something else, and my nephew also changed his mind and gave up going football class even if his parents paid the monthly fee. Now, he wants to sign up for guitar course, because his close friend bought a guitar and decided to go guitar course. Beside it is not just children and teenagers. Even adults can act in the same way sometimes. There have been several fitness trends for adults over 20 years, from yoga to pilates, and I doubt whether the majority of the participants kept on doing those activities in the long term. On the other hand, many people spend their free time doing popular activities that are not trendy. One good example would be the chess game. Children and adults who enjoy playing chess are certainly not following a new fashion trend and wasting their time for a trendy game that they don't really enjoy. On the contrary, they are passionate about a game that has been existed for a long time. I would say the same for some of my hobbies, such as watching film, listening music. These are practicing for a long while, and they are not trendy now. In summary, even if it is true for some people that they spend their free times with popular hobbies that they are not keen on exactly, there are many long standing hobbies that are dealt by true enthusiasts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
activities become fashionable for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and then disappear when new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trendy
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
, whereas others seem to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
permanently
. I can
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
reflect changing fashions
rather
than our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
true
interest.

On the one hand, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
true
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
are
simply
passing trends.
Especially
children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted to what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
currently
among their peers
easily
.
For example
, my nephew who is 10 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
boy is always crazy with what his peers are into. A year ago, most of the boys in his classroom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
on weekends, and he
also
insisted on his family to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. Later,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of his friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to lose interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, they wanted to do something else, and my nephew
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
his mind and gave up going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
football
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
even if his parents paid the monthly fee.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, he wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
up for guitar course,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
his close friend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a guitar and decided to go guitar course. Beside it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. Even adults can act
in the same way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
. There have been several fitness trends for adults over 20 years, from yoga to
Possible spelling mistake found.
pilates
, and I doubt whether the majority of the participants
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
on doing those activities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
term.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
activities that are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trendy
. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example would be the chess game. Children and adults who enjoy playing chess are
certainly
not following a new fashion trend and wasting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trendy
game that they don't
really
enjoy.
On the contrary
, they are passionate about a game that has
been existed
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I would say the same for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
, such as watching film, listening music. These are practicing for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
while, and they are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trendy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

In summary, even if it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
true
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that they spend their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
that they are not keen on exactly, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long standing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hobbies
that
are dealt
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
true
enthusiasts.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
368 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts