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Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this issue? v.2

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this issue? v. 2
With increasing employment opportunities in urban areas, more youth have been leaving rural areas to migrate to cities. This is causing a demographic imbalance leaving behind older population in villages. There are many ways to mitigate issues resulting from such an exodus resulting in an efficient population management. As cities get crowded, many civic facilities are compromised. While every citizen is entitled to certain education, health and hygiene standards, an increase in concentration of population in a certain area burdens the system. This results in scarcity or poor management of resources. As cities get choked with people, there is also an adverse effect on the environment. Poor waste management results in air and water pollution. Effects are also realized at a societal level. Many individuals are known to find it hard to survive in such competing environments. This can also result in an increase in crime. While it is true that cities certainly offer more employment prospects, the Government must take active steps to ensure that such migrations are planned efficiently. The Government can introduce a merit based points system allowing only qualified youth with active jobs offers to move to the cities. More funding can be allocated to initiate small scale industries in rural areas that allow even women to find employment opportunities. To conclude, if we want to create and maintain healthy societies, it is important that we manage well the problems resulting from mass migrations. The Government has a big role to play in ensuring that both, cities and rural areas offer a good mix of employment opportunities and other civic facilities to its citizens.
With increasing
employment
opportunities in urban
areas
, more youth have been leaving rural
areas
to migrate to
cities
. This is causing a demographic imbalance leaving behind older population in villages. There are
many
ways to mitigate issues resulting from such an exodus resulting in an efficient population management.

As
cities
get
crowded,
many
civic facilities
are compromised
. While every citizen
is entitled
to certain education, health and hygiene standards, an increase in concentration of population in a certain
area
burdens the system. This results in scarcity or poor management of resources. As
cities
get
choked with
people
, there is
also
an adverse effect on the environment. Poor waste management results in air and water pollution. Effects are
also
realized at a societal level.
Many
individuals
are known
to find it
hard
to survive in such competing environments. This can
also
result in an increase in crime.

While it is true that
cities
certainly
offer more
employment
prospects, the
Government
must
take active steps to ensure that such migrations
are planned
efficiently
. The
Government
can introduce a merit based points system allowing
only
qualified youth with active jobs offers to
move
to the
cities
. More funding can
be allocated
to initiate
small
scale industries in rural
areas
that
allow
even women to find
employment
opportunities.

To conclude
, if we want to create and maintain healthy societies, it is
important
that we manage well the problems resulting from mass migrations. The
Government
has a
big
role to play in ensuring that both,
cities
and rural
areas
offer a
good
mix of
employment
opportunities and other civic facilities to its citizens.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this issue? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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