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Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation? v.1

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation? v. 1
In recent years, due to increasing urbanization, many youngsters are migrating to cities for better opportunities, while leaving the older population in the countryside. There are few challenges because of this trend, such as no growth and development of the rural areas and no support for the older population. This essay will discuss both the problems in detail and suggest a few solutions to tackle these issues. Firstly, the essential factor for a developing country to prosper is to have agriculture as the backbone for growth. Agriculture is the primary occupation that adds employment and consumption to the economy. Farming is mainly a countryside activity which requires the participation of the young population. If the young generations move out of their hometown to work in cities, the agriculture would be slowed down or stopped in that region, which will, in turn, reduce the economy of the rural areas. Secondly, if there are no adults in the countryside, it will be challenging for older people to do things independently. For instance, the countryside does not have easy access to medical facilities. In case of any emergency, they wouldn’t have support for commute or assistance. To manage the above issues, the government should provide more lucrative employment opportunities in the country side, so that the youngsters can work in the field of their interest, as wells as they can take care of their parents. Another solution could be increasing the government investment that would help in establishing good schools and hospitals so that the young generation can have a better quality of life even in the countryside. To conclude, while it is difficult to stop the young generation from migrating towards the city, it is crucial to protect the economic growth and support the ageing people by offering more advanced facilities and opportunities that would force them to reconsider their decision to leave their hometown.
In recent years, due to increasing urbanization,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters are migrating to cities for better opportunities, while leaving the older population in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. There are few challenges
because of this
trend, such as no growth and development of the rural areas and no support for the older population. This essay will discuss both the problems in detail and suggest a few solutions to tackle these issues.

Firstly
, the essential factor for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
to prosper is to have agriculture as the backbone for growth. Agriculture is the primary occupation that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
employment and consumption to the economy. Farming is
mainly
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
activity which requires the participation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
population. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out of their hometown to work in cities, the agriculture would
be slowed
down or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
in that region, which will, in turn,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the economy of the rural areas.

Secondly
, if there are no adults in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
, it will be challenging for older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to do things
independently
.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
does not have easy access to medical facilities. In case of any emergency, they wouldn’t have support for commute or assistance.

To manage the above issues, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide more lucrative employment opportunities in the country side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the youngsters can work in the field of their interest, as wells as they can take care of their parents. Another solution could be increasing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
investment that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in establishing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
schools and hospitals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation can have a better quality of life even in the countryside.

To conclude
, while it is difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation from migrating towards the city, it is crucial to protect the economic growth and support the
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by offering more advanced facilities and opportunities that would force them to reconsider their decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their hometown.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
313 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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