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internet shops will take over physical stores. do you agree or disagree? v.2

internet shops will take over physical stores. v. 2
The revolutionary invention of silicon chip has transformed almost every walk of life, including business, and consequently, more people tend to shop online nowadays. Because it is in vogue, many people believe that orthodox business will be taken over by e-commerce sooner than later. Though some physical shops will still exist, I entirely agree with the notion that online stores are bound to have a promising future. Starting with, what people like about online shopping is convenient and easy access. A variety of products are available at the tap of a button and comfort of one's home. Moreover, online brands offer a wide range of added services like twenty-four by seven assistance, free cash on delivery, and hassle-free returns and refunds, that add to the satisfaction of their consumers. Because of this, customers are adopting the trend of making online purchases. On the contrary, a few people who object the potential of e-stores are either ill-informed or question novelty. The frequent claim by such people that one cannot judge the quality of a product virtually is not more than an excuse because most of the stores state a clear description of the items and on top of that, buyers share the hands-on experience of the goods. Additionally, people might be afraid of being deceived, but thanks to modern security tactics, it is highly unlikely that somebody will rob them of their fortune. Thus, clearing all doubts about online business and guaranteeing a safe and satisfactory experience. To conclude, the distinct advantages of online stores are two folds: easy availability and better client services. Although it will take some time for people to get used to e-shopping, I believe that internet shops are going to take over conventional brick and mortar stores inevitably.
The revolutionary invention of silicon chip has transformed almost every walk of life, including business, and
consequently
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to shop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it is in vogue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that orthodox business will
be taken
over by e-commerce sooner than later. Though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical shops will
still
exist, I
entirely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are bound
to have a promising future.

Starting with, what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping is convenient and easy access. A variety of products are available at the tap of a button and comfort of one's home.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
brands offer a wide range of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
services like twenty-four by seven assistance, free cash on delivery, and hassle-free returns and refunds, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to the satisfaction of their consumers.
Because of this
, customers are adopting the trend of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
.

On the contrary
, a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who object the potential of e-stores are either ill-informed or question novelty. The frequent claim by such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that one cannot judge the quality of a product
virtually
is not more than an excuse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
state a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
description of the items and
on top of that
, buyers share the hands-on experience of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might be afraid of
being deceived
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
thanks to modern security tactics, it is
highly
unlikely that somebody will rob them of their fortune.
Thus
, clearing all doubts about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
business and guaranteeing a safe and satisfactory experience.

To conclude
, the distinct advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are two folds: easy availability and better client services. Although it will take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to e-shopping, I believe that internet shops are going to take over conventional brick and mortar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
inevitably
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay internet shops will take over physical stores. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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