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Nowadays larger distance are travelled by people to work and study on a daily basis. Some consider it to be a negative development while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.2

Nowadays larger distance are travelled by people to work and study on a daily basis. Some consider it to be a negative development while others disagree. 2
Is it bad to commute to distant places, interact with a wider range of people of different neighbouring towns and cities? If people earn a position or career opportunity in an institution which is a bit far from their homes, or if they opt to make long journeys to learn better skills and in search of a better study or work environment, how can it be a negative development? In this essay, I will show you that travelling larger distances everyday by people to work and study has a significant positive effect on one's mental and career growth and knowledge and especially helps in achieving challenging goals. Firstly, travelling long distances for a good career better environment broadens one's horizon of knowledge and significantly enriches personal learning experience. Most of the times, a big school or company offering better quality education and higher position, are not located within a close vicinity. These kind of institutions are comparatively less in number. For instance, prestigious Universities like Oxford and Cambridge provide excellent education and it is quite natural that students from far and wide places will flock here to get a quality education and degree. It is very foolish to let go such a lucrative opportunity of studying in such top ranking Universities just because a person might have to travel far from their homes. Above all, by travelling greater distances people also do get an opportunity to interact with people outside their hometowns, cities and local area. When a person travels over 30-50 kms every day, not only can he meet the locals of neighbouring towns and locality, but also commute with them in the same bus or train, talk to them and get to know them and their culture. Also, in the workplace and school, a person can interact and make friends with people coming from far off places. As a result, there is more exposure and a chance to mix with a wide variety of populations. This healthy interaction breaks many stereotypes and makes a person humble. It is hard to imagine a life spent in a small area among a small circle of people. Moreover, some of the most developed places are those where people from far off places commute for their career. For example, people from different parts of the UK come to London to work, some commute daily from neighbouring towns like Brighton or Surrey, while others have migrated from distant cities like Edinburgh and Manchester. London provides a multicultural environment which brings people of different culture, ages, race together under a single roof and clearly London is the most developed cities in the UK and Europe. Travelling long distances has a notable positive impact on the progress of people and a country as a whole. With modern advancements in technologies, faster and advanced modes of transport are available everywhere, which helps to cover long distances within a short span of time. Subways, trains, bullet trains, buses, monorails have made life and commuting much easier, comfortable and quicker. For instance, London is connected by an extensive network of subway which links distant parts of the city and passengers can cover several kilometres comfortably within few minutes. Travelling is not a big hassle and time consuming like it used to be in the past. Finally, to conclude, I strongly disagree that travelling larger distances for work or studies by people nowadays have any kind of negative impact. On the contrary, this is a positive development which has proved beneficial in different ways. People get a wide exposure, can break their shyness and make friends from far and wide, be flexible and grab advanced positions and get admitted in excellent educational institutions and enjoy the advantages of and be a part of a developed society.
Is it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
to commute to distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, interact with a wider range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
towns and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
? If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
earn a position or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
opportunity in an institution which is a bit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
far
from their homes, or if they opt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
journeys to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and in search of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
study or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment, how can it be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development? In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
you that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distances
everyday by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and study has a significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on one's mental and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
growth and knowledge and
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in achieving challenging goals.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distances
for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
environment broadens one's horizon of knowledge and
significantly
enriches personal learning experience.
Consider using "most of the time" if you mean "usually" or "very often".
Most of the times
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
school or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
quality education and higher position, are not located within a close vicinity.
Did you mean "this kind" or "These kinds"?
These kind
of institutions are
comparatively
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
less in number
.
For instance
, prestigious Universities like Oxford and Cambridge provide excellent education and it is quite natural that students from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
far
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
will flock here to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a quality education and degree. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
foolish to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
go such a lucrative opportunity of studying in such top ranking Universities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
far
from their homes.

Above all
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an opportunity to interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
outside their hometowns,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and local area. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
travels over 30-50
Possible spelling mistake found.
kms
every day, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the locals of
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
towns and locality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
commute with them in the same bus or train, talk to them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know them and their culture.
Also
, in the workplace and school, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can interact and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
friends with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
far
off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
As a result
, there is more exposure and a chance to mix with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wide
variety of populations. This healthy interaction breaks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
stereotypes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
humble. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to imagine a life spent in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
area among a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
circle of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the most developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are those where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
far
off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
commute for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
parts of the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to London to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
commute daily from
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
towns like Brighton or Surrey, while others have migrated from distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
like Edinburgh and Manchester. London provides a multicultural environment which brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
culture, ages, race together under a single roof and
clearly
London is the most developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in the UK and Europe.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distances
has a notable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the progress of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and a country as a whole.

With modern advancements in technologies, faster and advanced modes of transport are available everywhere, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to cover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distances
within a short span of time. Subways, trains, bullet trains, buses, monorails have made life and commuting much easier, comfortable and quicker.
For instance
, London
is connected
by an extensive network of subway which links distant parts of the city and passengers can cover several
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
comfortably
within few minutes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
is not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
hassle and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
like it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be in the past.

Finally
,
to conclude
, I
strongly
disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
distances
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or studies by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays have any kind of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact.
On the contrary
, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development which has proved beneficial in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
ways.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wide
exposure, can break their shyness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
friends from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
far
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wide
, be flexible and grab advanced positions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admitted in excellent educational institutions and enjoy the advantages of and be a part of a developed society.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
71Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays larger distance are travelled by people to work and study on a daily basis. Some consider it to be a negative development while others disagree. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
627 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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