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Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cites and town, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation? v.1

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cites and town, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation? v. 1
People are attracted towards the urban areas which provides modern facilities and employment opportunity also attract people from the countryside as well. This essay will discuss the problems that faced by oldies people in the countryside and the measures has been taken to deal with it. To begin with, one of the important problems is that the old one’s has to live alone in their native place as they want the development of their adults so, they allow them to leave the countryside. For example, in most of the urban areas having the opportunity where one should work and get the money to feed their family. Moreover, the countryside having less opportunity for the one’s development; it cannot contain any company’s which provides employment, so all the younger want to leave it and at last, only oldies were there, and no one is there to look them as well. On the other hand, to solve this problem government should start to build a new opportunity which, provides a large amount of employment, so people who live in this place never having thought to leave it. Even for the companies the countryside provides the large space in a less budget. For instance, most of the new company was developed in the countryside, it would be beneficial for owners as well nearby people in terms it serves job. Furthermore, there is no need to leave their native for the younger and they provide the support and care to their oldies as they deserve it; spent their later life healthy with their loved ones. In conclusion, While the countryside having less opportunity to create a problem for them as they travel to the urban area to avoid this the government should start a new project in that place so, they live their life happily with their entire family.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are attracted
towards the urban areas which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
modern facilities and employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
also
attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
as well
. This essay will discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that faced by oldies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
and the measures has
been taken
to deal with it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
one’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
alone in their native place as they want the development of their adults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
For example
, in most of the urban areas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
where one should work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the money to feed their family.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
for the one’s development; it cannot contain any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
employment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
all the younger want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
it and at last,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
oldies were there, and no one is there to look them
as well
.

On the other hand
, to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to build a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
which,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
a large amount of employment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in this place never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
it. Even for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
the large space in a less budget.
For instance
, most of the new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
was developed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
, it would be beneficial for owners
as well
nearby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in terms it serves job.
Furthermore
, there is no need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
their native for the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
younger and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
the support and care to their oldies as they deserve it; spent their later life healthy with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.

In conclusion
, While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for them as they travel to the urban area to avoid this the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a new project in that place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their life
happily
with their entire family.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cites and town, leaving only old people in the countryside. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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