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Many companies use advertisements to increase their sales. What are the main factors that make an advertisement effective? Is advertising a good or bad thing for the society? v.2

Many companies use advertisements to increase their sales. What are the main factors that make an advertisement effective? Is advertising a good or bad thing for the society? v. 2
Many companies are using various promotional activities for the growth of their item popularity and the sale. The essay will discuss the positive, which generate an awareness of the product, and negative, which spoils the family budget; impact of the advertisement on the society. To begin with, one of the important positive points is that the person is not aware of the certain product. This advertisement gives them information and guide them how to use it. For instance, one of the most popular advertisement is Parlegi shows the from what material it builds and what vitamins it contains, even also shows what other things it be more suitable to eat. Moreover, some advertisement is well known by the actors because people like to follow them, whom they like the most. So, the selling of that a particular item is rapidly growing. Thus, to increase the sale and to make people more aware about the product this is the best way. On the other hand, there are certain negative points are also there which affects an individual and later the society. Firstly, some companies show wrong information in their advertisement and try to convince the customer. For example, to promote their item they use celebrity who never use their product and popularity of that celebrity gain the attention of customers and they start to use the item. Secondly, sometimes promote in such a way so customer buys it without much think about that is required or not; so such product spoils the family budget as well. In conclusion, while the advertisement promotes the product and increase the sale, but also attract the customer to buy such things that are not necessary which spoils the family budget.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are using various promotional activities for the growth of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
popularity and the sale. The essay will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
, which generate an awareness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
, which spoils the family budget; impact of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
on the society.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points is that the person is not aware of the certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
gives them information and guide them how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.
For instance
, one of the most popular
Please check whether a plural form of 'advertisement' should be used.
advertisement
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Parlegi
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
Did you mean "form"?
from
what material it builds and what vitamins it contains, even
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
what other things it
Did you mean "is"?
be
more suitable to eat.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is well known by the actors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like to follow them, whom they like the most.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the selling of that a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
is
rapidly
growing.
Thus
, to increase the sale and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more aware about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
this is the best way.

On the other hand
, there are certain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points are
also
there which affects an individual and later the society.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
information in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
and try to convince the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
.
For example
, to promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
celebrity who never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and popularity of that celebrity gain the attention of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
customers and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
promote in such a way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buys
it without much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about that
is required
or not;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
spoils the family budget
as well
.

In conclusion
, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
promotes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and increase the sale,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
attract the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
such things that are not necessary which spoils the family budget.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many companies use advertisements to increase their sales. What are the main factors that make an advertisement effective? Is advertising a good or bad thing for the society? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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