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In some countries, the number of people who visit art galleries is declining. What are the reasons for this? How can we solve this problem. v.6

In some countries, the number of people who visit art galleries is declining. What are the reasons for this? How can we solve this problem. v. 6
Nowadays people are excited to visit a place which is known for its past history, art for that their visit to a museum. Some people say that these numbers is reduced. The essay will discuss reasons for why this happens and steps to solve it. To begin with, one of the important reasons is that it is available open only in the day hours, so if a person want information’s they have to reach that place at that time. For instance, Research conducted shows that to access that information a person must go to a particular place at the particular time that thing is no one likes. Moreover, most of the people attracted towards the western culture, so they lost their interest in the culture, even they were not aware about their tradition and their local language. As a result, the society will destroy and no one believes in each other. On the other hand, there are certain steps that the government should take to prevent the history in today’s world. Firstly, if they represent the history in the form of the movie so people can feel it and even understand it deeply. This will create interest of all kinds of people from children to old. For instance, recently released movie becomes more popular, name of the movie is rani laxmibai. Furthermore, the government should start the campaign, which promotes the importance of tradition and culture. In this way, they create an awareness among the people. In conclusion, while person interest in art is detrimental for the society and the culture to prevent that the government should start an awareness program and represent a history in a new way so it remains alive.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are excited
to visit a place which
is known
for its past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, art for that their visit to a museum.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that these numbers is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. The essay will discuss reasons for why this happens and steps to solve it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons is that it is available open
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the day hours,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if a person want information’s they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
reach that place at that time.
For instance
, Research conducted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that to access that information a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
go to a particular place at the particular time that thing is no one likes.
Moreover
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attracted towards the western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they lost their interest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, even they were not aware about their tradition and their local language.
As a result
, the society will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
and no one believes in each other.

On the other hand
, there are certain steps that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world.
Firstly
, if they represent the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
in the form of the movie
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can feel it and even understand it
deeply
. This will create interest of all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from children to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.
For instance
, recently released movie becomes more popular, name of the movie is
Possible spelling mistake found.
rani
Possible spelling mistake found.
laxmibai
.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the campaign, which promotes the importance of tradition and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. In this way, they create an awareness among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, while person interest in art is detrimental for the society and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
an awareness program and represent a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
Consider replacing "in a new way" with the adverb for "new"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a new way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it remains alive.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, the number of people who visit art galleries is declining. What are the reasons for this? How can we solve this problem. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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