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Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.6

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. v. 6
Governments these days invest money not only in public service but also in art and drama. But most people believe that the government should invest more in public service and investing funds in arts is a waste. I partially agree with this statement because I believe that funding capital on public activities is more important and also, I do not believe that makes the provision on arts is a waste of money. This essay will support my opinion. On the one hand, the government should spend more on public infrastructure because it will strongly affect the quality of life. Public service investment means invest in hospitals, schools and infrastructure facilities. For instance, if the government spends less on education, so that, people of the country become less educated and it will badly affect the economy. Further, if they invest less capital in the health sector, it will reduce the quality of life and it will reduce the productivity of the labor force. Therefore, the authority should consider more about public facilities and qualities of the services and should invest more capital on it. On the other hand, investing funds in arts such as drama, dance, music, and drawings is not a waste of money because people need all of these for entertainment. Most of the organizations, which conducts shows and dramas, should need government help to develop their duties because they are not profitable companies. When we consider the current situation, most of the people have tension and stress with their day to day life, therefore entertainment is very important to medicine to cure those problems. As an example, now there is a trend to watch music shows and theaters to reduce tension. Therefore, the state should invest a sufficient amount of cash on arts. In conclusion, the government should invest more in public services and investing in entertainment facilities also provide more benefits to society. Because of that, it is very important to understand the benefits of both sides and better to invest according to the requirement to gain more results.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
invest
money not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and drama.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
invest
more in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
and investing funds in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is a waste. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I believe that funding capital on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
activities is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
also
, I do not believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the provision on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is a waste of money. This essay will support my opinion.

On the one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
infrastructure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
strongly
affect the quality of life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
investment means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
invest
in hospitals, schools and infrastructure facilities.
For instance
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spends less on education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the country become less educated and it will
badly
affect the economy.
Further
, if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
invest
less capital in the health sector, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the quality of life and it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the productivity of the labor force.
Therefore
, the authority should consider more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
facilities and qualities of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
invest
more capital on it.

On the other hand
, investing funds in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
such as drama, dance, music, and drawings is not a waste of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need all of these for entertainment. Most of the organizations, which conducts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and dramas, should need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to develop their duties
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not profitable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. When we consider the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have tension and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
with their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life,
therefore
entertainment is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to medicine to cure those problems. As an example,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
there is a trend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and theaters to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
tension.
Therefore
, the state should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
invest
a sufficient amount of cash on arts.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
invest
more in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and investing in entertainment facilities
also
provide more benefits to society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to understand the benefits of both sides and better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
invest
according to the requirement to gain more results.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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