Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some young people are leaving the country to anothers, leaving only old people in the country. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation? v.2

Some young people are leaving the country to anothers, leaving only old people in the country. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation? v. 2
Nowadays, young people reach for better life conditions and job opportunities in developed countries, leaving behind their elders and causing problems. One of the issues faces is the lack of professionals to attend all types of areas, and the damage caused in the economy. For better understanding, the essay will analyse these both matters and propose ways to solve it. An unstable government imposing high taxes, encourages those who have money enough, to not hesitate to immigrate. But their absence in crucial areas like health, has lead the ones that stayed in a critical situation. Studies have shown that there is 40 patients between 70-80 years old for each doctor. Due to its volume, most of them, unfortunately, never goes back home. Another problem, is the downward the financial system, which affects all the other areas. Without work and money, good persons become criminals to guarantee their family's survivals. The poor and criminality are linked in 50% them other factors, that's why rich country is safer. To conclude, without young people, the professional area and economy has a lot to lose. To solve it, the government should lower the tax charging over the residents and companies, aiming the growth of economy, aiming to provide reasons for these important people to stay. Good people stay for good reasons, they collaborate as much as they can, knowing that they have rights to be in a leadership that cares for those who stay to fight and make the country a better place. A rich country is formed by rich government.
Nowadays, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reach for better life conditions and job opportunities in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, leaving behind their elders and causing problems. One of the issues faces is the lack of professionals to attend all types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, and the damage caused in the economy. For better understanding, the essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
these both matters and propose ways to solve it.

An unstable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
imposing high taxes, encourages those who have money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, to not hesitate to immigrate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
their absence in crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
like health, has lead the ones that stayed in a critical situation. Studies have shown that
Did you mean "there are 40 patients"?
there is 40 patients
between 70-80 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
for each doctor. Due to its volume, most of them, unfortunately, never goes back home.

Another problem, is the downward the financial system, which affects all the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Without work and money,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
persons become criminals to guarantee their family's survivals. The poor and criminality
are linked
in 50% them other factors, that's why rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is safer.

To conclude
, without young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and economy has a lot to lose. To solve it, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should lower the tax charging over the residents and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, aiming the growth of economy, aiming to provide reasons for these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stay for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reasons, they collaborate as much as they can, knowing that they have rights to be in a leadership that cares for those who stay to fight and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
a better place. A rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is formed
by rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some young people are leaving the country to anothers, leaving only old people in the country. What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve this situation? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts