Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys.

some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. what are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having large number of toys? v. 6
Playing with toys helps children to remain both physically and mentally fit and they can excel further in their work. There are two major pros and cons of getting large number of toys which will be discussed in the course of this essay before reaching conclusion. One of the major reasons of getting the large number of toys from their parents is that they want their child should become active and smart. By playing with large number to toys children will learn more because every toy has different ways to play and more they play the more children will adapt distinct methods. With the help of this children will start thinking differently that will help them to complete task is their life. For instance, there are many different toys with which children will learn alphabets that will assist them to grab easily when they start learning in school. Second, having large number of toys will keep them busy and parents can easily do their own task. However, their are some drawbacks of having large number of toys. Firstly, there will be less bonding between parents and children. As parents have given large number of toys for their own sake so that this will keep children busy but they have to spend the time with them. The more children will be busy with toys the more they will going far away form their relation. Secondly, the biggest disadvantage is that children will become introvert. They will more likely to stay inside and in themselves. Children will face consequences because they do not know how to interact with another person and also will not be able to learn team work and co-opertation. To reiterate, undoubtedly, buying large number of toys for children will help then to grow and active, however, it is also true that this will ruin their relationship if proper steps not be taken.
Playing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to remain both
physically
and mentally
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
fit and
they can excel
further
in their work. There are two major pros and cons of getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
which will
be discussed
in the course of this essay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching conclusion.

One of the major reasons of getting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is that they want their child should become active and smart. By playing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will learn more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toy
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to play and more they play the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will adapt distinct methods. With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
thinking
differently
that will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to complete task is their life.
For instance
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
with which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will learn alphabets that will assist them to grab
easily
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
learning in school. Second, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them busy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
easily
do their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
task.

However
,
Did you mean "there"?
their
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
.
Firstly
, there will be less bonding between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
sake
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
busy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend the time with them. The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be busy with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
the more they will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "go"
going
far away form their relation.
Secondly
, the biggest disadvantage is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will become introvert. They will more likely to stay inside and in themselves.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
will face consequences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not know how to interact with another person and
also
will not be able to learn team work and
Possible spelling mistake found.
co-opertation
.

To reiterate,
undoubtedly
, buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
toys
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
then to grow and active,
however
, it is
also
true that this will ruin their relationship if proper steps not
be taken
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad
Show Comments
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts