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Some young children spend a great amount of their time practicing sports. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.1

Some young children spend a great amount of their time practicing sports. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1
In recent times, some children have been placed under pressure to become successful individuals by their parents. This is because parents want their children to have an easier life than theirs and also want to show off to others. However, in my opinion, this is a negative development as the children are made to choose a career against their wish. One of the main reasons why parents insist that their children should be successful is to make sure their children have an easy life. This is mostly the case when the parents had a very hard life or have experienced a lot of tough situations in life. In order to prevent the same thing from happening to their offspring, they insist that the children should study subjects that they think would make them successful in life. For example, a road-side food seller could want her child to be a successful tech guru. Another factor might be the parent's desire to show off. All parents want to be able to proudly show their children's achievements and success to others. For some to be able to do this, they force their children to choose a career that they think is prestigious, a career the children might not have passion for. To illustrate, a child may want a career as an artist or a poet, but his parent would want him to be a neurosurgeon, as to them this career provide a successful future. In my opinion, parents pressurising the children to have a successful life has negative impacts on the children. First and foremost, the children are made to study subjects that do not interest them and have a career in something they do not have passion for. Therefore, this could cause job dissatisfaction and lead to them resenting their jobs, as they were not allowed to follow their desires career. Lastly, the children would not be self- motivated. Their source of motivation would be the fear of disappointing their parents. In conclusion, some parents put pressure on their children because they want them to be successful. This may be because the parents want to be able to show their successful children off and also want their children to have an easy life. This reason can be understandable, but have negative impacts on the children.
In recent times,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
been placed
under pressure to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
individuals by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have an easier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
than theirs and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
off to others.
However
, in my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are made
to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
against their wish.

One of the main reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
insist that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have an easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This is
mostly
the case when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
or have experienced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
tough situations in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the same thing from happening to their offspring, they insist that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should study subjects that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, a road-side food seller could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
her child to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
tech guru. Another factor might be the parent's desire to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
off. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be able to
proudly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
their children's achievements and success to others. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
to be able to do this, they force their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
is prestigious, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might not have passion for. To illustrate, a child may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
as an artist or a poet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
him to be a neurosurgeon, as to them this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
provide a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
future.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
Possible spelling mistake. 'pressurising' is British English.
pressurising
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
First
and foremost, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are made
to study subjects that do not interest them and have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
in something they do not have passion for.
Therefore
, this could cause job dissatisfaction and lead to them resenting their jobs, as they were not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to follow their desires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
Lastly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would not be self- motivated. Their source of motivation would be the fear of disappointing their parents.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
put pressure on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
them to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
. This may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
off and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have an easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This reason can be understandable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Some young children spend a great amount of their time practicing sports. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
383 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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