Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Talk about an important instructor in your life and why was he/she important? Use details and examples to elaborate your response. v.1

Talk about an important instructor in your life and why was he/she important? Use details and examples to elaborate your response. v. 1
In this day and age, television is one of the most essential electronic devices in our houses. It might be said that learning about another country via social media is more convenient. However, I think if you visit them in reality, you learn extra concerning another country than watching programs. Firstly, when you watch TV programs that related to visiting a country or a journey, it will help you to get knowledge, and you do not have to spend money to explore a place which you want to know. It will be costly to visit every place that someone’s dream of. Before people emigrate to another country. They are able to learn about all aspects of the country by various programs and films in terms of job opportunities, the education system, and the cost of living which all are essential information for immigrants. But sometimes people need to actually visit it because there are several things that they cannot collect by watching TV programs. Probably, there is sine truth in the idea that travellers can get new friends in that country they visit. It is a valuable thing because maybe they can find a soulmate, a companion or a partner. Moreover, you can try thrill feelings that only real-life travel can know. For instance, you can climb a mountain, sliding waterfall, tasting the true taste of local food that you cannot get from staying home and watching TV. To sum up, learning about another country via social media is very convenient and reduce about a cost for people who do not have enough money to visit the place that they dream of. But it can also bring a lot of interesting things to you when you actually travel it.
In this day and age, television is one of the most essential electronic devices in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. It might
be said
that learning about another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
via social media is more convenient.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
them in reality, you learn extra concerning another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
than watching programs.

Firstly
, when you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV programs that related to visiting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or a journey, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge, and you do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend money to explore a place which you want to know. It will be costly to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
every place that someone’s dream of.
“Before” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
emigrate to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. They are able to learn about all aspects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
by various programs and films in terms of job opportunities, the education system, and the cost of living which all are essential information for immigrants.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to actually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are several things that they cannot collect by watching TV programs.
Probably
, there is sine truth in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
new friends in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
. It is a valuable thing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
maybe they can find a soulmate, a companion or a partner.
Moreover
, you can try thrill feelings that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
real-life travel can know.
For instance
, you can climb a mountain, sliding waterfall, tasting the true taste of local food that you cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from staying home and watching TV.

To sum up, learning about another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
via social media is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
about a cost for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
the place that they dream of.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it can
also
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
interesting things to you when you actually travel it.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Talk about an important instructor in your life and why was he/she important? Use details and examples to elaborate your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Talk about an important instructor in your life and why was he/she important? Use details and examples to elaborate your response. v.1