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Some would argue that people should follow local culture when visiting foreign countries whereas, others believe that a diverse culture should be accepted gladly by the host nation. While welcoming the cultural differences can help to increase tourism in v.2

Some would argue that people should follow local culture when visiting foreign countries whereas, others believe that a diverse culture should be accepted gladly by the host nation. While welcoming the cultural differences can help to increase tourism in v. 2
Some would argue that people should follow local culture when visiting foreign countries whereas, others believe that a diverse culture should be accepted gladly by the host nation. While welcoming the cultural differences can help to increase tourism in the country, I believe that following local traditions can help visitors to communicate and connect with local people. On the one hand, some say that the host country should welcome people from different cultures because it can boost the tourism industry in the country. In other words, when tourists visit a foreign country they feel uncomfortable and isolated because of the different cultures altogether. Therefore, if they feel comfortable then it can attract more tourists to that country. For example, according to a study done by the Guardian in the year 2016, Singapore has the highest number of tourists because they are multicultural society containing Singaporean, Indian and Malaysian. Despite this, I think that they should learn or have some information about the local culture. On the other hand, if visitors are aware of the local traditions and customs it will help them to connect with local people and avoid conflicts during the trip. That is to say that if they follow the local norms and values, they can prevent themselves from getting into a situation of cultural misunderstanding. In Timor Leste, for instance, the tourists have to meet with the head of the tribe to get permission to stay in the village with the natives. The leader will give a punishment if the tourists break the rule. That is why I believe that visitors should give respect to local culture so that they can enjoy their trip without any problem. To conclude, although accepting the cultural differences wholeheartedly can increase tourism in the country, I believe that visitors should learn about local customs and values to connect with local people and avoid misunderstandings.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
when visiting foreign
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countries
whereas, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that a diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
gladly
by the host nation. While welcoming the cultural differences can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to increase tourism in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
traditions can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
to communicate and connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say that the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should welcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can boost the tourism industry in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
In other words
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
visit a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
they feel uncomfortable and isolated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
altogether.
Therefore
, if they feel comfortable then it can attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, according to a study done by the Guardian in the year 2016, Singapore has the highest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are multicultural society containing Singaporean, Indian and Malaysian. Despite this, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should learn or have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
culture.

On the other hand
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
are aware of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
traditions and customs it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and avoid conflicts during the trip.
That is
to say that if they follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
norms and values, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
themselves from getting into a situation of cultural misunderstanding. In Timor
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leste
,
for instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with the head of the tribe to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
permission to stay in the village with the natives. The leader will give a punishment if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
break the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
.
That is
why I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
should give respect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can enjoy their trip without any problem.

To conclude
, although accepting the cultural differences
wholeheartedly
can increase tourism in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
should learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs and values to connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and avoid misunderstandings.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some would argue that people should follow local culture when visiting foreign countries whereas, others believe that a diverse culture should be accepted gladly by the host nation. While welcoming the cultural differences can help to increase tourism in v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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