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In the past, shopping was seen to be a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. Do you think this is a positive trend? v.1

In the past, shopping was seen to be a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. Do you think this is a positive trend? v. 1
It is argued that shopping was viewed as a household chore in earlier times. These days some men and women consider it a pastime. I believe it is a negative development because people spend money on unnecessary things and getting in debt, and it is a very unproductive hobby. The main reason why it is a negative trend is that people buy products that they do not really need and it resulted in increasing debts. In other words, these days credit facility is available almost everywhere and people unnecessary purchase things from their credit cards. As a result, they end up paying EMIs for months and this can have a huge impact on their finances. For example, a research done by the Times of India in the year 2017, revealed that 40% of the middle-class people use credit cards for shopping and pay monthly in installments. Another reason to consider is that shopping is not a productive thing and it wastes a lot of time. That is to say that shopping does not help people to develop either physically or intellectually. However, other pastime activities such as sports, reading books or even watching movies can be beneficial for physical and mental development. For instance, most of my friends who spend their weekends shopping have nothing else to talk about, other than their purchases, whereas my friends who use their time wisely are more interesting to talk to. To conclude, in earlier years people consider consumerization as a regular household chore. Some people take in as a leisure activity at the present time. I believe that it is a negative trend because people waste money on unnecessary products, which in result increases debts on them and there are more constructive ways for people to spend their free time.
It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
was viewed
as a household chore in earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
. These days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women consider it a pastime. I believe it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend money on unnecessary things and getting in debt, and it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
unproductive hobby.

The main reason why it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
products that they do not
really
need and it resulted in increasing debts.
In other words
, these days credit facility is available almost everywhere and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
unnecessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things from their credit cards.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up paying
Possible spelling mistake found.
EMIs
for months and this can have a huge impact on their finances.
For example
, a research done by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
of India in the year 2017, revealed that 40% of the middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
credit cards for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and pay monthly in installments.

Another reason to consider is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is not a productive thing and it wastes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
That is
to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to develop either
physically
or
intellectually
.
However
, other pastime activities such as sports, reading books or even watching movies can be beneficial for physical and mental development.
For instance
, most of my friends who spend their weekends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
have nothing else to talk about, other than their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
, whereas my friends who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
wisely
are more interesting to talk to.

To conclude
, in earlier years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumerization
as a regular household chore.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take in as a leisure activity at the present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I believe that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
waste money on unnecessary products, which in result increases debts on them and there are more constructive ways for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to spend their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In the past, shopping was seen to be a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. Do you think this is a positive trend? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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