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Some would argue that people should follow local culture when visiting foreign countries whereas, others believe that a diverse culture should be accepted gladly by the host nation. While welcoming the cultural differences can help to increase tourism in v.1

Some would argue that people should follow local culture when visiting foreign countries whereas, others believe that a diverse culture should be accepted gladly by the host nation. While welcoming the cultural differences can help to increase tourism in v. 1
It is a subject of debate among educationalists whether which is the most effective method of studying for students. While some believe that individual learning is the most appropriate learning approach, I would contend that collaborative learning method may have a beneficial impact on students' learning results. To begin with, one advantage of studying alone is that students can pay full attention on their study materials. This is because they tend to be less distracted from learning by unnecessary conversations with their peers. Another benefit that individual learning approach can offer is that students are able to self-paced. For example, when studying in group, it is true that a student with a limitation of intelligence may use more time than his or her peers to assimilate knowledge. Consequently, he or she may fall behind because of slow learning speed. In contrast, individual learning facilitates students to plan a study schedule that works best for them. On the other hand, collaborations between students can offer them chances to learn valuable skills which may useful to them in the further future such as critical thinking, communication, and exchanging ideas. During group study, students will track their fellow students and debate with them if there is a point of contention. As a result, they will acquire in-depth knowledge about the particular topic they are discussing. Moreover, group study triggers students’ competitiveness with their peers, which motivates them to enhance their efficiency and productivity during the learning process. When facing a difficult problem in learning, they have a tendency to compete against their friends and try them best to solve that problem. To sum up, although the advantages of the individual learning offer is concentration and self-paced schedule, I believe that group study is a more effective learning method as it helps students to hone their skills and triggers students’ competitiveness.
It is a subject of debate among educationalists whether which is the most effective method of studying for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is the most appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
approach, I would contend that collaborative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
method may have a beneficial impact on students'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
results.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one advantage of studying alone is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can pay full attention on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
materials. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they tend to be less distracted from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
by unnecessary conversations with their peers. Another benefit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
approach can offer is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are able to self-paced.
For example
, when studying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, it is true that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
with a limitation of intelligence may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more time than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
peers to assimilate knowledge.
Consequently
, he or she may fall behind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of slow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
speed.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
facilitates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to plan a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
schedule that works best for them.

On the other hand
, collaborations between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can offer them chances to learn valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which may useful to them in the
further
future such as critical thinking, communication, and exchanging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. During
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
their fellow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and debate with them if there is a point of contention.
As a result
, they will acquire in-depth knowledge about the particular topic they are discussing.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
triggers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
competitiveness with their peers, which motivates them to enhance their efficiency and productivity during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process. When facing a difficult problem in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
, they have a tendency to compete against their friends and try them best to solve that problem.

To sum up, although the advantages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
offer is concentration and self-paced schedule, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is a more effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
method as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to hone their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and triggers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
competitiveness.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some would argue that people should follow local culture when visiting foreign countries whereas, others believe that a diverse culture should be accepted gladly by the host nation. While welcoming the cultural differences can help to increase tourism in v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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