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Some university teachers prefer to record their lectures before classes. In this way, students will be familiar with the lecture in advance and teachers help students practice in classes while they are watching or listening lectures. Do you think it is an v.1

Some university teachers prefer to record their lectures before classes. In this way, students will be familiar with the lecture in advance and teachers help students practice in classes while they are watching or listening lectures. Do you think it is an v. 1
Some information requires a careful handling as the misuse of sensitive data can negatively impact on individuals. While some people believe that sharing information without a restriction benefits the advancement in various fields such as science, business and education, others concern of such practice as some information is highly important and valuable. This essay will discuss both views and explain the reasons why I think the access to information should be regulated. There are some potential advantages of sharing information. Firstly, it can reduce the budget and time of research. For example, the cost of clinical research is extremely expensive and time consuming in general. However, if the result of research is shared between organisations across the world, not only it saves time and expense of an experiment, but also it stimulates innovation and growth within the field. Secondly, it benefits the whole society by providing latest knowledge and skills. Thus, having access to the latest resource is time and cost efficient, while advocating the development of the specific field. On the other hand, some data may contain sensitive data such as social and medical status of an individual. If the personal data was accessed by a third party who intend to use it for their own interest, the individual may sacrifice from fraud or disadvantages in social life. For instance, a bank or an insurance company may obtain to the personal information of an individual, and take advantage of the data to make a profit by not allowing the person to claim benefits, unless otherwise accessible. Hence, not everyone should be able to reach valuable data to protect individuals. To conclude, while the free access to information possibly contributes to saving hours and cost, as well as stimulating development in the specific field, some regulations are required to protect sensitive information from an external party with a harmful intention.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
requires a careful handling as the misuse of sensitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
can
negatively
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
without a restriction benefits the advancement in various fields such as science, business and education, others concern of such practice as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
highly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and valuable. This essay will discuss both views and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reasons why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should
be regulated
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential advantages of sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
Firstly
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the budget and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of research.
For example
, the cost of clinical research is
extremely
expensive and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
in general
.
However
, if the result of research
is shared
between
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
across the world, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and expense of an experiment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it stimulates innovation and growth within the field.
Secondly
, it benefits the whole society by providing
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Thus
, having access to the latest resource is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
cost efficient
, while advocating the development of the specific field.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
may contain sensitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
such as social and medical status of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
. If the personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
was accessed
by a third party who intend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interest, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
may sacrifice from fraud or disadvantages in social life.
For instance
, a bank or an insurance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
may obtain to the personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
, and take advantage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a profit by not allowing the person to claim benefits, unless
otherwise
accessible.
Hence
, not everyone should be able to reach valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
to protect individuals.

To conclude
, while the free access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
possibly
contributes to saving hours and cost,
as well
as stimulating development in the specific field,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regulations
are required
to protect sensitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from an external party with a harmful intention.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some university teachers prefer to record their lectures before classes. In this way, students will be familiar with the lecture in advance and teachers help students practice in classes while they are watching or listening lectures. Do you think it is an v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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