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Agree or disagree: It is as important for old people to study and learn new things as it is for young people. v.1

Agree or disagree: It is as important for old people to study and learn new things as it is for young people. v. 1
Nowadays the use of non Eco friendly bags is quite common, especially at grocery stores where these bags come as a handy option but despite of their uses we have to pay a heavy price for the destruction it caused to the environment. Some persons opine that the adoption of these bags should be banned. I completely agree with this statement. Plastic items are continuously destroying our earth. There is a plethora of problems caused by the non decomposable items. To begin with, as these bags are non decomposable, the authorities cannot recycle them as a result of which they have to burn them which contributes to the air pollution already worsened by the motor vehicles and factories. Furthermore, these items make our agricultural land infertile, hence impacting the agricultural industry. To add further, these non recyclable bags are impacting our marine life to a greater extent as marine creatures eat these elastic items and died. Recently in one of the surveys in America, the researcher observed most of aquatic species are on verge of extinction because of these issues many countries around the world stopped the use of moulded items. Long term adoption of non decomposable items can result in serious health issues. For instance, in the recent researches by the scientist it has been found that the application of non Eco products in daily life also contributes to some of the deadly diseases. To conclude, it is the high time we must understand the intensity with which plastic items are destructing our environment and makes life difficult for animals, human beings and marine creatures. The application of plastic is an issue of great concern and need an immediate action from every country around the globe to create laws restricting their use and save our environment from air and sea pollution.
Nowadays the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of non Eco friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
is quite common,
especially
at grocery stores where these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
as a handy option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay a heavy price for the destruction it caused to the environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
persons opine that the adoption of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
should
be banned
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

Plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
are
continuously
destroying our earth. There is a plethora of problems caused by the
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non decomposable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
are
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non decomposable
, the authorities cannot recycle them
as a result
of which they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
burn them which contributes to the air pollution already worsened by the motor vehicles and factories.
Furthermore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our agricultural land infertile,
hence
impacting the agricultural industry.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
further
, these
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non recyclable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bags
are impacting our marine life to a greater extent as marine creatures eat these elastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
. Recently in one of the surveys in America, the researcher observed most of aquatic species are on verge of extinction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries around the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
moulded
items.

Long term adoption of
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non decomposable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
can result in serious health issues.
For instance
, in the recent researches by the scientist it has
been found
that the application of non Eco products in daily life
also
contributes to
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
deadly diseases.

To conclude
, it is the high time we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
understand the intensity with which plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
are destructing our environment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
life difficult for animals, human beings and marine creatures. The application of plastic is an issue of great concern and need an immediate action from every country around the globe to create laws restricting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and save our environment from air and sea pollution.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Agree or disagree: It is as important for old people to study and learn new things as it is for young people. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
302 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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