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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The advice from our grandparents is no longer useful, for the world has changed so much during the past 50 years. v.288

The advice from our grandparents is no longer useful, for the world has changed so much during the past 50 years. v. 288
People have different views about whether or not modern-technology will replace the school's teachers. Although some people think that due to development in advanced-technology, it becomes easier for students to gain deep-knowledge and get advice from the tutor that available on the internet, but I believe that there will be need of teachers because they provide students not only accurate knowledge, but also encourage them in their studies, that is imperative to succeed. This is understandable that why people think that one day moderate -technology will completely replace the teachers. Firstly, they may think that due to availability of a wide range of books as well as web sites on the Internet, students would get deep-knowledge related to any subject without getting help from any school teacher. For example, Wikipedia is one of the famous websites where people can get any information related to any topic within few seconds. Secondly, they could also reckon that students will get an education by sitting in their own place. In other words, there are many online tutors from distinct countries that educate students via video conference by getting little amount of money. However, it seems to me that technology will never replace the teachers. This is because educators are more reliable and teach students with honesty as well as motivate them if needed. In other words, teachers always try to provide relevant knowledge to students about subjects and solve the student's confusion related to any topic, they persuade weak students. Hence, by getting inspiration from teachers all students do well in their exams. Furthermore, the fear of teacher force students to concentrate more on studies instead of focusing on distractions that occurs in the classroom In conclusion, while some people believe that due to enhancement of modern technology there will be no need of teachers in your future, I deem that teachers has a great importance in education system and their existence will remain in education department despite of having advanced technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
modern-technology will replace the school's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that due to development in advanced-technology, it becomes easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to gain deep-knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advice from the tutor that available on the internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that there will
be need
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
accurate knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
encourage them in their studies,
that is
imperative to succeed.

This is understandable that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that one day moderate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
-technology
will completely replace the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
Firstly
, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that due to availability of a wide range of books
as well
as
Did you mean "websites"?
web sites
on the Internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
deep-knowledge related to any subject without getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from any school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
.
For example
, Wikipedia is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
websites where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any information related to any topic within few seconds.
Secondly
, they could
also
reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an education by sitting in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
place.
In other words
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
online tutors from distinct countries that educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
via video conference by getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
amount of money.

However
, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will never replace the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
educators are more reliable and teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with honesty
as well
as motivate them if needed.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
always try to provide relevant knowledge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about subjects and solve the student's confusion related to any topic, they persuade weak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Hence
, by getting inspiration from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do well in their exams.
Furthermore
, the fear of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to concentrate more on studies
instead
of focusing on distractions that occurs in the classroom

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that due to enhancement of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
there will be no need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in your future, I deem that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
has a great importance in education system and their existence will remain in education department
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
having advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay The advice from our grandparents is no longer useful, for the world has changed so much during the past 50 years. v. 288

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
328 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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