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Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.16

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 16
These days, many educational institutions teach courses online and encourage people to study over internet. In my opinion, this is a positive aspect as it makes the education not only affordable to many students but also good for the environment. Firstly, studying courses online is lot cheaper when compared to that of taking a regular course in a university. Apart paying the tution fees, students need to spend money for accommodation, food and travel. Moreover, though few of the students depend on their parents for money, many of them have to do part-time work to cover the expenses, which inturn affect their study time and eventually their grades. For instance, according to a recenty study, students who do part-time job to pay for their studies tend to score less marks when compared to that of students who don't need to work. So, making education cheaper would attract lot many students who don't have much money to spend for their studies. Secondly, studying online brings in lots of benefits to the society and the environment. As students can learn their lessons at the comfort of their home, they don't need to spend their time on commute. Therefore, they gain more time to study and stay concentrated for more time. Furthermore, reduced travel results in lower levels of carbon footprint by every student, which is good for the nature. For example, travel by plane is the major contributor for the emission of carbon gases and reduced travel would result in lower carbon emissions. To conclude, e-learning courses are the way of the future and they are here to stay for the benefits they offer. Teaching courses online establishes a level playing field for all the students irrespective of their cultural and economical background, which is quite beneficial for the whole nation.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
educational institutions teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
over internet. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the education not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affordable to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the environment.

Firstly
, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is lot cheaper when compared to that of taking a regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
in a university. Apart paying the
Possible spelling mistake found.
tution
fees,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to spend money for accommodation, food and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
.
Moreover
, though few of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
depend on their parents for money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do part-time work to cover the expenses, which
Possible spelling mistake found.
inturn
affect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
eventually
their grades.
For instance
, according to a
Possible spelling mistake found.
recenty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who do part-time job to pay for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
tend to score
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun marks is countable.
less
marks when compared to that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who don't need to work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, making education cheaper would attract lot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who don't have much money to spend for their studies.

Secondly
, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
brings in lots of benefits to the society and the environment. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn their lessons at the comfort of their home, they don't need to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on commute.
Therefore
, they gain more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and stay concentrated for more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
results in lower levels of carbon footprint by every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the nature.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
is the major contributor for the emission of carbon gases and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
would result in lower carbon emissions.

To conclude
, e-learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are the way of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
future and
they are here to stay for the benefits they offer. Teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
establishes a level playing field for all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
irrespective of their cultural and economical background, which is quite beneficial for the whole nation.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development? v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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