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Some think that these environmental problems are too big for individuals to be solved, while others think that individuals cannot solve these environmental problems unless governments make some action. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some think that these environmental problems are too big for individuals to be solved, while others think that individuals cannot solve these environmental problems unless governments make some action. v. 2
Gone are the days when atmosphere is the pleasant place to live-in for mankind. Presently, some masses advocate that humans alone are unable to preserve the environment as this is the huge problem for them to resolve. By contrast, others ponder that authority’s contribution adds more weightage to solve the prevailing issue. There are plethora of points to endorse the former view. First and foremost, inappropriate resources needed by individuals in order to tackle the threat. To be specific, humans have fixed resources such as capital, that they are used for their loved ones instead of spending them on treating environmental problems. Furthermore, single person can not change the mind set of the whole society in reality. To demonstrate, problem of air pollution cannot be cured if one person stop using automobiles or start car-pooling. Consequently, individuals are unable to correct the majority of environmental issues at their own level. Manifold attributes can be mentioned to support the latter statement. To embark with, governing authorities have capacity to enforce laws related to protecting the surrounding. As a result, everyone in the community obeys that specific law and order to make atmosphere better place to live. To illustrate, in Delhi (India), government reinforce law of even and odd vehicles to be used on alternative days on roads to reduce traffic congestion as well as air pollution. Henceforth, this effort helps to plunged the air contamination within few months. To recapitulate, earth is the heaven place that makes unhealthy by certain human activities. Although, humans along with local governing bodies implementing rules to conquer vast environmental threats to make earth healthy for future generations.
Gone
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
the days when atmosphere is the pleasant place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
-in for mankind.
Presently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
masses advocate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
alone are unable to preserve the environment as this is the huge problem for them to resolve. By contrast, others ponder that authority’s contribution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
more weightage to solve the prevailing issue.

There are plethora of points to endorse the former view.
First
and foremost, inappropriate resources needed by individuals in order to tackle the threat. To be specific,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
resources such as capital, that they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones
instead
of spending them on treating environmental problems.
Furthermore
, single person can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the mind set of the whole society in reality. To demonstrate, problem of air pollution cannot
be cured
if one person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
using automobiles or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
car-pooling.
Consequently
, individuals are unable to correct the majority of environmental issues at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
level.

Manifold attributes can
be mentioned
to support the latter statement. To embark with, governing authorities have capacity to enforce laws related to protecting the surrounding.
As a result
, everyone in the community obeys that specific law and order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
atmosphere better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. To illustrate, in Delhi (India),
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
reinforce law of even and odd vehicles to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on alternative days on roads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
traffic congestion
as well
as air pollution. Henceforth, this effort
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
Did you mean "to plunge"?
to plunged
the air contamination within few months.

To recapitulate, earth is the heaven place that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
unhealthy by certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activities. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
along with local governing bodies implementing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to conquer vast environmental threats to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
earth healthy for future generations.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some think that these environmental problems are too big for individuals to be solved, while others think that individuals cannot solve these environmental problems unless governments make some action. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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