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Many people have learned a foreign language in their own country; others have learned a foreign language in the country in which it is spoken. Which is better? Give the advantages of each and support your viewpoint. v.2

Many people have learned a foreign language in their own country; others have learned a foreign language in the country in which it is spoken. Which is better? Give the advantages of each and support your viewpoint. v. 2
All types of learning language have its own advantages and disadvantages. I suppose everyone would love to learn and practice a foreign language in a spoken this language country. In this way there is wonderful chance to practice it everywhere: in a shop, in a café, in a bus station, library, clubs, with friends from the school and other places. During some time of being in a country with another language you begin to think on this language. You hear a lot of settled expressions. You begin to use right words in right situations. When you talk to native speakers you hear a correct pronunciation. So during some time you will get out of an accent. Another advantage of this type of learning is that you explore a country culture. There are special polite phrases and slang which you will hear only living with native speakers around. Indeed it has a lot of advantages going to another country is quite expensive. Studying in your country is cheaper. You don’t need to pay for rent of apartments, spend money for trip to your country and the way back and other attended expenses. Sometimes you can have deeper explanation of some rules, because you hear it in your native language. I’m absolutely sure that it is more affectively to learn language in a country in which it is spoken. And it is much better to be isolated from people who speak your native language. In this situation you will be in a stalemate. So you will begin to talk anyway. I have a practice to be in the USA, where I had to communicate with American language native speakers. Sometimes I was needed in explanation of some words. My American friends helped me to understand. We played in words. I surmounted a barrier to talk in English.
All types of learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and disadvantages. I suppose everyone would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to learn and practice a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in a spoken this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In this way there is wonderful chance to practice it everywhere: in a shop, in a café, in a bus station, library, clubs, with friends from the school and other places. During
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time of being in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
with another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. You
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
settled expressions. You
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
right words in right situations.

“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
you talk to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
speakers you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hear
a correct pronunciation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
during
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of an accent. Another advantage of this type of learning is that you explore a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
culture. There are special polite phrases and slang which you will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
living with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
speakers around.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Indeed
it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages going to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is quite expensive. Studying in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is cheaper. You don’t need to pay for rent of apartments, spend money for trip to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and the way back and other attended expenses.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
you can have deeper explanation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hear
it in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
language.

I’m
absolutely
sure that it is more
affectively
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in which it
is spoken
. And it is much better to
be isolated
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who speak your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. In this situation you will be in a stalemate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to talk anyway. I have a practice to be in the USA, where I had to communicate with American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
speakers.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
I
was needed
in explanation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words. My American friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me to understand. We played in words. I surmounted a barrier to talk in English.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay Many people have learned a foreign language in their own country; others have learned a foreign language in the country in which it is spoken. Which is better? Give the advantages of each and support your viewpoint. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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