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Some think that these environmental problems are too big for individuals to be solved, while others think that individuals cannot solve these environmental problems unless governments make some action. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some think that these environmental problems are too big for individuals to be solved, while others think that individuals cannot solve these environmental problems unless governments make some action. v. 1
The proportion of natives plays a vital role in developing the country. Currently a few countries having more adults rather than senior citizens, whereas adults are contributing the best to give more advancement with exceptional adverse circumstances. This essay will discuss the appreciated influence of younger and a few of their negative impact. Young adults are more flexible and capable to work in any of the sectors as compared to older ones. Adolescents are in the first preference of any multinational growing companies. To exemplify, a research body from the united states declared that companies and bigger cooperations have been looking for the youngster for vacancies such as engineers, analysts and so on. The major factors to be considered that young people are highly adaptable and efficient cope with technology. Given the illustration of the young person shown that they are advantageous to their country. More population of young adults than older people can lead to the increased betterment of the country. Nowadays, adults are highly recommended to build good and productive workforce. Due to some factors like time and effective results, adults of younger ages are on the priority of every organization. For instance, In Japan, they have shown 85% of the population are adults and due to that, they have shown a 15% hike in the economy in the last financial year. In addition to this decision making also found more effective in this young age range. On the contrary, the drawbacks of the excessive proportion of the mid-age population are not deniable. However, some of the countries showing growth due to more population of new generation, whereas other countries such as in India, the universal newspaper revealed that more population of young age leads to more unemployment due to fewer opportunities. By compiling this there have been some disadvantageous due to an increase in young adults. In conclusion, the more young adults population the more new ideas, effectiveness, oriented results will come up. However few demerits came along might not be neglected.
The proportion of natives plays a vital role in developing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Currently
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
having more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
rather
than senior citizens, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
are contributing the best to give more advancement with exceptional adverse circumstances. This essay will discuss the appreciated influence of younger and a few of their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact.

Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
are more flexible and capable to work in any of the sectors as compared to older ones. Adolescents are in the
first
preference of any multinational growing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. To exemplify, a research body from the
The proper noun "United States" needs to be capitalized.
united states
declared that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and bigger cooperations have been looking for the youngster for vacancies such as engineers, analysts and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. The major factors to
be considered
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
highly
adaptable and efficient cope with technology.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the illustration of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
person shown that they are advantageous to their country.

More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
than older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can lead to the increased betterment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
are
highly
recommended to build
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and productive workforce.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors like time and effective results,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
of younger ages are on the priority of every organization.
For instance
, In Japan, they have shown 85% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to that, they have shown a 15% hike in the economy in the last financial year.
In addition
to this
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
also
found more effective in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age range.

On the contrary
, the drawbacks of the excessive proportion of the mid-age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
are not deniable.
However
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
showing growth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of new generation, whereas other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as in India, the universal newspaper revealed that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age leads to more unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to fewer opportunities. By compiling this there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantageous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults.

In conclusion
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
the more new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, effectiveness, oriented results will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
few demerits came along might not
be neglected
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some think that these environmental problems are too big for individuals to be solved, while others think that individuals cannot solve these environmental problems unless governments make some action. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
335 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some think that these environmental problems are too big for individuals to be solved, while others think that individuals cannot solve these environmental problems unless governments make some action. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1