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Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve, while others think that the government cannot solve these environmental problems unless individuals make some action. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve, while others think that the government cannot solve these environmental problems unless individuals make some action. v. 2
In recent decades, the environment has become a major concern around the world as our planet will face the devastating consequences of global warming in the near future. Although it is undoubtedly the government’s responsibility to take action, individuals need to make a contribution to deal with this pressing problem as well. It is certainly undeniable that environmental problems cannot be solved without the role of the government. First, governments have more power than individuals in coping the geoengineering. They can, for instance, set up laws that ban the emission of wastes from factory directly into the air and watercourses in order to mitigate contamination. Second, only governments can have sufficient funds and resources to invest in projects or programmes fighting against climate change. Since some communities are already experiencing tragic consequences due to changes in climate over a short period of time, the governments have planned in advancing the large-scale infrastructure – such as building defences to protect against sea-level rise or improving the quality of road surfaces to withstand hotter temperatures. It must also be acknowledged that individuals also play a vital role in saving our planet. First, the actions of an individual may seem minor, however, the cumulative effect of everyone taking such actions would be enormous. For example, if each citizen makes an effort to live a more eco-friendly life by participating in greening, clean commuting, reducing, reusing and recycling, the pollution issues would be reduced substantially. Second, without the environmental awareness and support of individuals, government’s policies wouldn’t succeed as the authorities cannot control every personal action ruining the environment. In fact, many forest fires were caused by the ignorance of an individual, which exacerbate environmental problems. In conclusion, governments certainly are the key players with responsibility to care for our planet. Nonetheless, preserving the environment requires individuals and governments to take steps to make the necessary changes having a significant impact on our future.
In recent decades, the environment has become a major concern around the world as our planet will face the devastating consequences of global warming in the near future. Although it is
undoubtedly
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
responsibility to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a contribution to deal with this pressing problem
as well
.

It is
certainly
undeniable that environmental problems cannot
be solved
without the role of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have more power than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
in coping the geoengineering. They can,
for instance
, set up laws that ban the emission of wastes from factory
directly
into the air and watercourses in order to mitigate contamination. Second,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can have sufficient funds and resources to invest in projects or
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
fighting against climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. Since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
communities are already experiencing tragic consequences due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in climate over a short period of time, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have planned in advancing the large-scale infrastructure
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
such as building
Possible spelling mistake. 'defences' is British English.
defences
to protect against sea-level rise or improving the quality of road surfaces to withstand hotter temperatures.

It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
be acknowledged
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
also
play a vital role in saving our planet.
First
, the actions of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
may seem minor,
however
, the cumulative effect of everyone taking such actions would be enormous.
For example
, if each citizen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
an effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a more eco-friendly life by participating in greening, clean commuting, reducing, reusing and recycling, the pollution issues would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
substantially
. Second, without the environmental awareness and support of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
policies wouldn’t succeed as the authorities cannot control every personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
action
ruining the environment. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
forest fires
were caused
by the ignorance of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
, which exacerbate environmental problems.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
certainly
are the key players with responsibility to care for our planet. Nonetheless, preserving the environment requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to take steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
having a significant impact on our future.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve, while others think that the government cannot solve these environmental problems unless individuals make some action. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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