Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of the modern society. Some people think that we much return to the older and more traditional of respect for the family and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1
Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of the modern society. Some people think that we much return to the older and more traditional of respect for the family and the local community in order to create a better world to live in.  v. 1
Selfishness and greed have, nowadays, become the societal norm. Some suggest that restoring conventional values will render an improved lifestyle and positively impact our immediate community. I am inclined to agree with this assertion.
For a start, a traditional practice is face-to-face communication. For instance, in rapidly developing cities, the lack of this form of communication is a contributing factor of poor behaviour, as millennials learn from those on social media, who may not possess the best traits either. By direct communication, parents can monitor the youngster’s actions and correct as necessary, whereas it is more difficult to track their online activity. If only the offspring can learn along the lines of their parent’s actions, then a majority of issues will be mitigated, and if not, then this will be a worrying trend that looks set to continue.
Additionally, the new generation is not equipped with the appropriate knowledge of morals. This derives from the reduced discipline in schools as well as the pupils exercising their rights. In stark contrast, however, teachers were allowed to dish out consequences to wrongdoers, including the greedy and selfish, in the past. For example, students, in turn, can differentiate between right and wrong morals. Admittedly, traditional methods, such as corporal punishment, may be overkill for those students; nonetheless, it is a concrete step to nurturing pupils to be a beneficial steward in the community.
In conclusion, I strongly reaffirm my stance that traditional practices will restore the fresh generation. It is certainly hoped that these suggested measures will bring order and justice to those culprits, coupled with educating them with various life skills. 
Selfishness and greed have, nowadays, become the societal norm.  
Some
 suggest that restoring conventional values will render an  
improved
 lifestyle and  
positively
 impact our immediate community. I  
am inclined
 to  
agree
 with this assertion.
For a  
start
, a traditional practice is face-to-face communication.  
For instance
, in  
rapidly
 developing cities, the lack of this form of communication is a contributing factor of poor  
behaviour
, as millennials learn from those on social media, who may not possess the best traits either. By direct communication, parents can monitor the youngster’s actions and correct as necessary, whereas it is more difficult to  
track
 their online activity. If  
only
 the offspring can learn along the lines of their parent’s actions, then a majority of issues will  
be mitigated
, and if not, then this will be a worrying trend that looks set to continue. 
Additionally
, the new generation is not equipped with the appropriate knowledge of morals. This derives from the  
reduced
 discipline in schools  
as well
 as the pupils exercising their rights. In stark contrast,  
however
, teachers were  
allowed
 to dish out  
consequences to
 wrongdoers, including the greedy and selfish, in the past.  
For example
, students, in turn, can differentiate between right and  
wrong
 morals.  
Admittedly
, traditional methods, such as corporal punishment, may be overkill for those students; nonetheless, it is a concrete step to nurturing pupils to be a beneficial steward in the community. 
In conclusion
, I  
strongly
 reaffirm my stance that traditional practices will restore the fresh generation. It is  
certainly
 hoped that these suggested measures will bring order and justice to those culprits, coupled with educating them with various life  
skills
. 
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes