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Some think that cars are best way to travel in a city others think bicycle is better Discuss both points of views and give your opinion v.1

Some think that cars are best way to travel in a city others think bicycle is better 1
In our modern life, people have many ways to keep good mind. If pet or companion animal is one of them, which is an animal that can help people to get a better company or entertainment. Number of people confide that having a pet like as a cat and a dog can support elderly to obtain more pleasurable and to keep healthier. However, animal hairs, Nails and saliva may affect the health conditions of people, the benefits that these lovely animals give people entertain. On one hand, some pets are becoming very intelligent. They can understand people. When people feed and well looked after pets, encourages them to become even more active. Due to this extra activity between animals and people growing a depth of love. For this reason animals are becoming more toward their Boss. Because of this love and affection when people have some serious problem with their pet can understand them and often try to help. On the other hand, in spite of the advantages, there have a lot of threads to close interaction between pet and vulnerable old people still exist. Of the major harmfulness of these is animal hairs. This hairs surrounding around people and causes many of diseases like asthma. Beside of this, animals Nails and saliva also more causes affect. If any pet tosses someone in, it can cause people into serious illness. Also with that if people have a little baby and animals in their house together, it can cause dangerous. In conclusions, it is true that obstacles still exist for elderly people in adopting pets, but the benefits of this topic outnumber its shortages. For such reasons instead of discounting them, further support would be far more beneficial.
In our modern life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mind. If pet or companion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
is one of them, which is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or entertainment. Number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
confide that having a pet like as a cat and a dog can support elderly to obtain more pleasurable and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
healthier.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
hairs, Nails and saliva may affect the health conditions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the benefits that these lovely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
entertain.

On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
are becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
intelligent. They can understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feed and well looked after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
, encourages them to become even more active. Due to this extra activity between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
growing a depth of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
For this reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are becoming more toward their Boss.
Because of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and affection when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious problem with their pet can understand them and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the advantages, there have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
threads to close interaction between pet and vulnerable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
exist. Of the major harmfulness of these is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
hairs.
Did you mean "these"?
This
hairs surrounding around
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of diseases like asthma. Beside of this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
Nails and saliva
also
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
affect. If any pet tosses someone in, it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into serious illness.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
with that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
baby and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
together, it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.

In conclusions, it is true that obstacles
still
exist for elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in adopting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the benefits of this topic outnumber its shortages. For such reasons
instead
of discounting them,
further
support would be far more beneficial.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some think that cars are best way to travel in a city others think bicycle is better 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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