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Some think that cars are best way to travel in a city others think bicycle is better Discuss both points of views and give your opinion v.2

Some think that cars are best way to travel in a city others think bicycle is better 2
In 21st century where life has been updated. Some of the people deem that traveling in cars are better in the town while the opponents believe that bicycle is the best. In this essay I will discuss both the sides. It’s true that cars are the easiest way to reach the destination. It does not consume much of our time. Furthermore, it protects us safe from the pollution and gases of cars. Though, it also covers us from the sun in hot months where sweat can come easily as well as from the rain in chilly weather. For instance, as it said that first impression is the last impression if, a CEO has a meeting with international organization and, he is wet of rain water or he have the smell of sweat so, he will not be able create a good impression with such gesture. As well as, it keeps us safe from harsh injuries of accidents. Additionally, it can take more than four members at time also it can also carries a huge load with an ease. Bicycle have a lot of benefits, firstly, being living in a city means a lot of traffic on roads so, with the help of bicycle we can coupe the heavy traffic. It can be passed and ridded in that plethora of cars because it is not much big as cars. Secondly, it contributes to the environment, doesn’t not pollute the city atmosphere with gases. Thirdly, it is cheap than other source of transportation and it does not capture big areas of the city. In conclusion, I viewed both the opinions of travelling by bicycle and cars but bicycles are better than care. I feel that, the people of city must be encouraged to ride bicycles which will even help them in their physical exercise.
In 21st century where life has
been updated
.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
deem that traveling in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are better in the town while the opponents believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
is the best. In this essay I will discuss both the sides.

It’s true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
are the easiest way to reach the destination. It does not consume much of our time.
Furthermore
, it protects us safe from the pollution and gases of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. Though, it
also
covers us from the sun in hot
It is better to use 'months' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "months when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
months where
sweat can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
easily
as well
as from the rain in chilly weather.
For instance
, as it said that
first
impression is the last impression if, a CEO has a meeting with international organization and, he is wet of rain
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
water or
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
the smell of sweat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, he will not be
The preposition 'to' is required in front of the verb 'create'.
able create
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impression with such gesture.
As well
as, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
us safe from harsh injuries of accidents.
Additionally
, it can take more than four members at time
also
it can
also
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "carry"
carries
a huge load with an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
.

Bicycle have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits,
firstly
, being living in a city means
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
traffic on roads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
we
The word 'coupe' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
can coupe
the heavy traffic. It can
be passed
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ridded
in that plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is not much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
Secondly
, it contributes to the environment,
You used a negation after a negated contracted verb. Did you mean simply "doesn’t"?
doesn’t not
pollute the city atmosphere with gases.
Thirdly
, it is
Use "cheaper" to make a comparison with this adjective.
cheap
than other source of transportation and it does not capture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
areas of the city.

In conclusion
, I viewed both the opinions of travelling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
are better than care. I feel that, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be encouraged
to ride
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
which will even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their physical exercise.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some think that cars are best way to travel in a city others think bicycle is better 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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