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Some teachers are just lecturing (speaking) in class and students only take notes; some other teachers spend their class time on discussions and projects, and students share their ideas with their classmates. Which one do you prefer? v.1

Some teachers are just lecturing (speaking) in class and students only take notes; some other teachers spend their class time on discussions and projects, and students share their ideas with their classmates. Which one do you prefer? v. 1
During the last decades, the world has placed a premium on education. There is an opinion asserting that education is a demanding task over the ages. Having said that, however, I completely agree with the given assertion on the basis of some compelling reasons. To begin with, Firstly, the main reason is keeping abreast of the latest education developments. That is to say, the more the technology is improving, the more people should be received well-round education as they grown up. Considering that taking in essential information makes people versatile and can be mandatory if they are trying to do not leg behind their competitors and the world’s acknowledgement. Take the state of the art technology as an example; people will find true vocation and far excel in academic education as they way and literature is improving and altering. Secondly, well-being life can be related to acquiring more knowledge. Although there are many non-educated rich people who having best quality life style, gaining new skills and knowledge leads to facing more new opportunities, which improve our lifestyle. For instance, gaining academic education in core application and knowledge, regarding further education or gaining skills give people the considerable ability to undertake in the important job situation. To sum up, it is my firm conviction that acquiring knowledge as a higher education, or extracurricular should not be suspended, if we want to be exceled in our life. As the technology improves our knowledge also needs to be refreshed; so it is mandatory to be educated lifelong.
During the last decades, the world has placed a premium on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. There is an opinion asserting that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a demanding task over the ages. Having said that,
however
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
assertion on the basis of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
compelling reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Firstly
, the main reason is keeping abreast of the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
developments.
That is
to say, the more the technology is improving, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be received
well-round
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as they grown up. Considering that taking in essential information
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
versatile and can be mandatory if they are trying to do not leg behind their competitors and the world’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'acknowledgement' is British English.
acknowledgement
. Take the
Did you mean "state-of-the-art"?
state of the art
technology as an example;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will find true vocation and far excel in academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as they way and literature is improving and altering.

Secondly
, well-being life can
be related
to acquiring more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
non-educated rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
A determiner is probably missing here: "having the best".
having best
quality life style, gaining new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
leads to facing more new opportunities, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our lifestyle.
For instance
, gaining academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in core application and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, regarding
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
or gaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the considerable ability to undertake in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
job situation.

To sum up, it is my firm conviction that acquiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
as a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, or extracurricular should not
be suspended
, if we want to be
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "excelled", the past tense form of the verb 'excel'?
exceled
in our life. As the technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
also
needs to
be refreshed
;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is mandatory to
be educated
lifelong.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some teachers are just lecturing (speaking) in class and students only take notes; some other teachers spend their class time on discussions and projects, and students share their ideas with their classmates. Which one do you prefer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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