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Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this. v.5

Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this. v. 5
Since the world is going to be more technological and modern relying upon the state-of-the-art, in order to get accorded with this rapid evolution, students ought to constantly strive and make their best effort in the all education years. With thus lie of the land, there are only numerable students who are vigorous enough to attend a university immediately after finishing school studies, whiles most of the youngsters turn drained of formal schooling and they prefer to take comfort for two or three years traveling or working. In my own perspective, on the one hand, education is not only about theoretical learning, but also concerns about the students social interactions and their involvement in other activities apart from studying. On the other hand, there has been always a debated issue for adolescents about their future occupation and how they will go through the life. Consequently, running a business is the best possible way to draw on their knowledge and make the applied. Although it appears as all profits, the drawbacks are also determinative. To start with, it has multiple advantages but the fundamental ones will be explicated in this paragraph. One of the predominant upper hand is getting practicbly familiar with the working conditions and even other walks of life. This fact, provides a great opportunity to turn abstract into operative knowledge. Secondly, workmen will experience ebb and flow of life and learn how to tackle with pressing problems. Therefore, they will be more experiensed which gives them a broader view of life. Nevertheless, there are also some downsides involved in such a break. To clarify, educating procces will be disrupted. As a result, the former students may not show interest toward higher studies or they may find it difficult to readapt to an acadamic environment, while a few of them continue to work in the same sector and boost their career. As a conclusion, This hiatus between school and university courses could be beneficial for youths. However, taking too much break will automatically discourage them to restart. Thus, in my point of view, taking up a job for a few years before going to university is acceptable as long as they try to keep themselves in touch with the academic studies.
Since the world is going to be more technological and modern relying upon the state-of-the-art, in order to
get
accorded with this rapid evolution,
students
ought to
constantly
strive and
make
their best effort in the all education years. With
thus
lie of the land, there are
only
numerable
students
who are vigorous
enough
to attend a university immediately after finishing school studies, whiles most of the youngsters turn drained of formal
schooling and
they prefer to take comfort for two or three years traveling or working. In my
own
perspective, on the one hand, education is not
only
about theoretical learning,
but
also
concerns about the
students
social interactions and their involvement in other activities apart from studying.
On the other hand
, there has been always a debated issue for adolescents about their future occupation and how they will go through the life.
Consequently
, running a business is the best possible way to draw on their knowledge and
make
the applied. Although it appears as all profits, the drawbacks are
also
determinative
.

To
start
with, it has multiple advantages
but
the fundamental ones will
be explicated
in this paragraph. One of the predominant upper hand is getting
practicbly
familiar with the working conditions and even other walks of life. This fact, provides a great opportunity to turn abstract into operative knowledge.
Secondly
, workmen will experience ebb and flow of life and learn how to tackle with pressing problems.
Therefore
, they will be more
experiensed
which gives them a broader view of life.

Nevertheless
, there are
also
some
downsides involved in such a break. To clarify, educating
procces
will
be disrupted
.
As a result
, the former
students
may not
show
interest toward higher
studies or
they may find it difficult to
readapt
to an
acadamic
environment, while a few of them continue to work in the same sector and boost their career.

As a conclusion, This hiatus between school and university courses could be beneficial for youths.
However
, taking too much break will
automatically
discourage them to restart.
Thus
, in my point of view, taking up a job for a few years
before
going to university is acceptable as long as they try to
keep
themselves in touch with the academic studies.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some suggest that young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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