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Some suggest than young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this. v.1

Some suggest than young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this. v. 1
Some school of thoughts are of the opinion, that young school leavers should acquire gainful employments before entering into tertiary institutions. This essay will discuss the merits and the demerits of this view. One of the good sides of the above view is that, it enables the student to be financially independent from their family and guardian. Because, during the years of working they would have saved up enough funds for their university programs and projects, and so they will not necessarily depend solely on their family for funding. There are cases in Nigeria, for example, where orphans take up employments after their secondary education, to raise funds for their tertiary programs. Secondly, the student's years of working affords them the necessary exposure and experience needed in their proposed field of study. For example, someone that wants to study Building Engineering or Architecture in the Higher institution, could take up a job in a Construction industry, as this will give the person the necessary experience in their future career. However, one of the downsides of the above opinion, is that some students who are already working and earning money, may not want to go back to school due to distractions. There have been cases of students, who refused to further their education after college because they could not let go of their job because of the benefits. Also, the break in between studies could also affect their overall performances. Statistics show that young people who enters university immediately after college, performs better than those who took up gainful employment in-between.
Some
school of thoughts are of the opinion, that young
school leavers
should acquire gainful employments
before
entering into tertiary institutions. This essay will discuss the merits and the demerits of this view.

One of the
good
sides of the above view is that, it enables the student to be
financially
independent from
their family and guardian.
Because
, during the years of working they would have saved up
enough
funds for their university programs and projects, and
so
they will not
necessarily
depend
solely
on their family for funding. There are cases in Nigeria,
for example
, where orphans take up employments after their secondary education, to raise funds for their tertiary programs.
Secondly
, the student's years of working affords them the necessary exposure and experience needed in their proposed field of study.
For example
, someone that wants to study Building Engineering or Architecture in the Higher institution, could take up a job in a Construction industry, as this will give the person the necessary experience in their future career.

However
, one of the downsides of the above opinion, is that
some
students
who
are already working and earning money, may not want to go back to school due to distractions. There have been cases of students,
who
refused to
further
their education after college
because
they could not
let
go of their job
because
of the benefits.
Also
, the break in between studies could
also
affect their
overall
performances. Statistics
show
that young
people
who
enters
university immediately after college, performs better than those
who
took up gainful employment in-between.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some suggest than young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
260 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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