Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some suggest than young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this. v.3

Some suggest than young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this. v. 3
It is believed by some people that juveniles should take a break from studies after completing their secondary education, and take up some job before entering into their tertiary education. This essay will discuss the various advantages and disadvantages for the people who follow this statement. One of the major pluses of taking up a job rather than going for university education could help a person in accumulating wealth which can help them in paying for their higher education. Consequently, they would not have to depend on their parents or university scholarships for paying for their fees and other expenses. Additionally, the job experience could also help the students in learning new skills which can also help them in their future careers. For instance, many young children take up jobs of data entry after completing their school education because this job requires less skills. Subsequently, they can learn new skills such as Excel, and that experience might also help them in their future permanent jobs such as while working as manager in a firm. While looking at the downsides of this practice, one might argue that it is not a brilliant idea because gaps in studies can make it difficult to cope when taking up education again. Once a person starts with a job, his mindset is completely changed. Therefore, it becomes quiet challenging for them to return back to the same circumstances and start with their studies again with the same level of concentration. Secondly, sometimes it becomes quite difficult to get a promotion without a certain level of education. For example, there a many managerial job which requires a mandatory Masters in Business Administration degrees to get a promotion and go up in responsibilities. In conclusion, taking up a job after school rather than starting university education serves various advantages such as earning money that can be used for paying for their higher education and also give them experience and learn new skills. On the contrary, it has disadvantages such as difficulty in getting a promotion and returning back to studies.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that juveniles should take a break from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
after completing their secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, and take up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering into their tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. This essay will discuss the various advantages and disadvantages for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who follow this statement.

One of the major pluses of taking up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
rather
than going for university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
a person in accumulating wealth which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in paying for their higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Consequently
, they would not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
depend on their parents or university scholarships for paying for their fees and other expenses.
Additionally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
experience could
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the students in learning new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in their future careers.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young children take up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
of data entry after completing their school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
requires
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun skills is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Subsequently
, they can learn new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as Excel, and that experience might
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in their future permanent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
such as while working as manager in a firm.

While looking at the downsides of this practice, one might argue that it is not a brilliant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
gaps in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it difficult to cope when taking up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
again. Once a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, his mindset is completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
Therefore
, it becomes quiet challenging for them to
Consider using "return".
return back
to the same circumstances and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
again with the same level of concentration.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it becomes quite difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a promotion without a certain level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
For example
, there a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
managerial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which requires a mandatory Masters in Business Administration degrees to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a promotion and go up in responsibilities.

In conclusion
, taking up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after school
rather
than starting university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
serves various advantages such as earning money that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for paying for their higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
also
give them experience and learn new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
On the contrary
, it has disadvantages such as difficulty in getting a promotion and
Consider using "returning".
returning back
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some suggest than young people should take a job for a few years between school and university. Discuss what the advantages and disadvantages might be for people who do this. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts