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Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.6

It is evident that sports have brought enormous benefits to human life. While some people believed that more benefits will be gained by players when they engage in team sports namely football. Other people, however, argue that participating in individual sports, such as tennis or swimming, helps them to have more physical and mental value. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I consider now. On the one hand, it seems undeniable that people who choose team sports as their favourite sport are always responsible and obliging. For instance, if people want to play football or volleyball well, besides their responsibility for their position, they are also required to have effective cooperation and mutual understanding among players. This means that they also can improve their teamwork skill which is considered as an essential factor in all group projects and learn valuable life lessons which are only from team sports namely sacrifice yourself for the common purpose of the team. One more reason to demonstrate the benefits of playing team sports is that people who take part in team sports are trained in their leadership skill which is one of the most important skills today. On the other hand, for people who want to be more independent and show off their abilities more, individual sports will be a fabulous choice. Regarding a bulk of research, players participating in solo sports are more likely to develop individual thinking, self- decision- making skill, and independence than team sports players because they are alone without any assistance from others. For exemples, a tennis player should strategize the ball serves, predict where the ball falls, to be agile in his moment, he should be multi- task all the time. As a result, they are allowed to cultivate and maximize the personal capacity. Additionally, when playing individually, people know that their success depends on their effort, concentration, and determination. Therefore, if they want to reach their goal, they have only tried their best. In conclusion, each type of mentioned sports has its own advantages, howerever, in general, both aim at enhancing people’s physical and mental health. Consequently, it is better for players to make a choice which one is more suitable to them.
It is evident that
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sports
have brought enormous benefits to human life. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
believed that more benefits will
be gained
by
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players
when they engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
namely
football. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
however
, argue that participating in individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, such as tennis or swimming,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to have more physical and mental value. There are valid opinions on both sides, which I consider
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

On the one hand, it seems undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who choose
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team
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sports
as their
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favourite’ is British English.
favourite
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sport
are always responsible and obliging.
For instance
, if
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people
want to play football or volleyball well,
besides
their responsibility for their position, they are
also
required to have effective cooperation and mutual understanding among
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players
. This means that they
also
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their teamwork
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skill
which
is considered
as an essential factor in all group projects and learn valuable life lessons which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
namely
sacrifice yourself for the common purpose of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
. One more reason to demonstrate the benefits of playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is that
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people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are trained
in their leadership
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skill
which is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

On the other hand
, for
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people
who want to be more independent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off their abilities more, individual
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sports
will be a fabulous choice. Regarding a bulk of research,
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players
participating in solo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are more likely to develop individual thinking, self- decision- making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, and independence than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are alone without any assistance from others. For
Possible spelling mistake found.
exemples
, a tennis
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player
should strategize the ball serves, predict where the ball falls, to be agile in his moment, he should be multi- task all the time.
As a result
, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to cultivate and maximize the personal capacity.
Additionally
, when playing
individually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know that their success depends on their effort, concentration, and determination.
Therefore
, if they want to reach their goal, they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
tried their best.

In conclusion
, each type of mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages,
Possible spelling mistake found.
howerever
,
in general
, both aim at enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
physical and mental health.
Consequently
, it is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a choice which one is more suitable to them.
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IELTS essay Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football. While other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like tennis or swimming.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
368 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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