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Some students would rather write a paper than take a test. Other studentswould rather take a test instead of writing a paper. Which option do you prefer andwhy? v.1

Some students would rather write a paper than take a test. Other studentswould rather take a test instead of writing a paper. Which option do you prefer andwhy? v. 1
While some people believe that managerial position people are the backbones of the company and must be rewarded with high scale pay package, not everyone agrees with this notion. In my perspective, I am leaning towards the latter position due to the negative aspects of making a significant difference in salaries within an organization. To embark with, executive officers must know that higher than sufficient salaries are not necessary. Indeed, the higher the remuneration they receive, the more likely the company to suffer from devoid of financial capabilities. Furthermore, they often gain the power in the company which money cannot buy. For example, the power to make critical decisions for company which directly affects, how company thrives. In addition, they are also entitled to allocate company’s budget and designated tasks to other workers. Due to acquiring these non-financial powers, they should refrain from earning more than reasonable amount as their salaries. Apart from above, unreasonably distributed salaries for higher management can also afflict other employees. In fact, it is foreseeable that many employees might feel underpaid, powerless and unfair for their hard work. Consequently, some may start to leave the company, and some may choose the way of a strike and higher pay demand. However, these actions hardly make any difference. Hence, it seems that an unfair salary system like this would yield an unhealthy working environment with chances of an increase in internal politics, which cannot be beneficial for either company or employees. To put this in a nutshell, I oppose to creating a huge gap in salary architecture for the company. It can cause numerous negative effects for a company and eventually it might lead to more trouble.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that managerial position
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are the backbones of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be rewarded
with high scale pay package, not everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this notion. In my perspective, I am leaning towards the latter position due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of making a significant difference in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
within an organization.

To embark with, executive officers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
know that higher than sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
are not necessary.
Indeed
, the higher the remuneration they receive, the more likely the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to suffer from devoid of financial capabilities.
Furthermore
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
gain the power in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
which money cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
For example
, the power to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
critical decisions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
which
directly
affects, how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
thrives.
In addition
, they are
also
entitled to allocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company’s
budget and designated tasks to other workers. Due to acquiring these non-financial powers, they should refrain from earning more than reasonable amount as their salaries.

Apart from above,
unreasonably
distributed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
for higher management can
also
afflict other employees. In fact, it is foreseeable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employees might feel underpaid, powerless and unfair for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may choose the way of a strike and higher pay demand.
However
, these actions hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any difference.
Hence
, it seems that an unfair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
system like this would yield an unhealthy working environment with chances of an increase in internal politics, which cannot be beneficial for either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
or employees.

To put this in a nutshell, I oppose to creating a huge gap in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
architecture for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. It can cause numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and
eventually
it might lead to more trouble.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some students would rather write a paper than take a test. Other studentswould rather take a test instead of writing a paper. Which option do you prefer andwhy? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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