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2)Some students would rather write a paper than take a test. Other students would rather take a test instead of writing a paper. Which option do you prefer and why? v.1

2)Some students would rather write a paper than take a test. Other students would rather take a test instead of writing a paper. Which option do you prefer and why? v. 1
By getting information about the renowned persons through the printing or broadcasting media, the general public often tries to mimic the lifestyles of those public figures. Having a desire to get popularity and to lead a life as per the role models are the reasons for doing this. I consider that copying famous people is not a good concept because of having negative issues. In these days, normal people want to follow prominent persons due to having some misconceptions in their minds. The main reason is the people think if it is possible to pass their life according to famous people, they will get popularity also. For example, some youngsters try to do their hair cut by copying the hair style of Bollywood star “Sharuk Khan” because they also want to be a hero. Another cause is that people need a role model in life and they contemplate that famous people can only be selected as idols. Moreover, people have a belief that following renowned figures facilitates them to achieve success in life. In my opinion, following any person by collecting data from the periodicals, television or radio is not a good idea because of having detrimental effects. Firstly, no media in the world portrays real and accurate information about famous people. So, when people start to follow the public figures and later they can know that the information, which they believed to be true, was completely false, their trust level hampers. Moreover, it can have a negative impact on the mental health of ordinary people. Secondly, no one can fully copy to another and partial copy to any famous people can be sarcastic. For instance, wearing small skirts by a village girl, who wants to be an actress, may not be accepted in the village and people will make fun of that girl. Therefore, every person should flourish his or her instinctive capabilities rather than copy to another. In conclusion, getting popularity and leading a life according to the famous people are the cause of copying famous people, which is not a good idea in society.
By getting information about the renowned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
through the printing or broadcasting media, the
Consider using "public".
general public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
tries to mimic the lifestyles of those public figures.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
a desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
popularity and to lead a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as per the role models are the reasons for doing this. I consider that copying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
concept
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
issues.

In these days, normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to follow prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
misconceptions in their minds. The main reason is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if it is possible to pass their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
according to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
popularity
also
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
youngsters try to do their hair
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
by copying the hair style of Bollywood star “
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sharuk
Khan”
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
also
want to be a hero. Another cause is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need a role model in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they contemplate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be selected
as idols.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a belief that following renowned figures facilitates them to achieve success in life.

In my opinion, following any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
by collecting data from the periodicals, television or radio is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
detrimental effects.
Firstly
, no media in the world portrays real and accurate information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to follow the public figures and later they can know that the information, which they believed to be true, was completely false, their trust level hampers.
Moreover
, it can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the mental health of ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Secondly
, no one can
fully
copy to another and partial copy to any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be sarcastic.
For instance
, wearing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
skirts by a village girl, who wants to be an actress, may not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
in the village and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
fun of that girl.
Therefore
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should flourish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
instinctive capabilities
rather
than copy to another.

In conclusion
, getting popularity and leading a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
according to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the cause of copying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
in society.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 2)Some students would rather write a paper than take a test. Other students would rather take a test instead of writing a paper. Which option do you prefer and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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