Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some students prefer to live on campus in a dormitory. Others prefer to live in an apartment or house off campus. Which do you prefer? v.4

Some students prefer to live on campus in a dormitory. Others prefer to live in an apartment or house off campus. Which do you prefer? v. 4
University students especially ones who are not settlers of that country must choose a place to live. Although having an independent place to live off campus would have some benefits for them, the advantages of living on campus should not be disregarded. The following essay supports this point of view. Undoubtedly, living in an apartment alone or just accompanied by a trustable person such as your close friend contributes to the sense of satisfaction and autonomy for the students. One reason is that they can not only manage their time and activities due to their own needs, but also not be detracted by others’ preferences. For instance, you can decide when to study and when to sleep without being distracted by noises while your roommates are laughing during watching television. Another reason is that they will not be engaged in annoying situations according to roommates’ bothering behaviors. For example, the students avoid having conflicting arguments with others who do not respect your rights and desires. However, living on campus in dormitories with other people would provide beneficial points for the students. First, it would be more economical for the students. Since, they are not required to afford high expenses of transportation or hiring a house. Second, they would save their time and have more chance to study or relax. They can reach their classes soon and more conveniently by walking or biking without the hesitations such as traffic or long distances. And finally, living with other peoples holding different and sometimes conflicting believes and characteristics gives the students the opportunity to experience new skills in communicating others. They learn how to put up with different behaviors and create respectful interactions with others. In conclusion, besides the advantages of living alone outside the university, living in dormitories would help the students in several aspects of their lives.
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
especially
ones who are not settlers of that country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
choose a place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. Although having an independent place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
off campus would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits for them, the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
on campus should not
be disregarded
. The following essay supports this point of view.

Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in an apartment alone or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
accompanied by a trustable person such as your close friend contributes to the sense of satisfaction and autonomy for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. One reason is that they can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
manage their time and activities due to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
needs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
not
be detracted
by others’ preferences.
For instance
, you can decide when to study and when to sleep without
being distracted
by noises while your roommates are laughing during watching television. Another reason is that they will not
be engaged
in annoying situations according to roommates’ bothering behaviors.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
avoid having conflicting arguments with others who do not respect your rights and desires.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
on campus in dormitories with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would provide beneficial points for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
First
, it would be more economical for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Since, they are not required to afford high expenses of transportation or hiring a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. Second, they would save their time and have more chance to study or relax. They can reach their classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
and more
conveniently
by walking or biking without the hesitations such as traffic or long distances. And
finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
peoples holding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
conflicting believes and characteristics gives the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
the opportunity to experience new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in communicating others. They learn how to put up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
behaviors and create respectful interactions with others.

In conclusion
,
besides
the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
alone outside the university,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in dormitories would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in several aspects of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some students prefer to live on campus in a dormitory. Others prefer to live in an apartment or house off campus. Which do you prefer? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts