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228 Describe a house/apartment that someone you know lives in. You should say: whose house/apartment this iswhere the house/apartment iswhat it looks like insideand explain what you like or dislike about this person's house/ apartment v.1

228 Describe a house/apartment that someone you know lives in. You should say: whose house/apartment this iswhere the house/apartment iswhat it looks like insideand explain what you like or dislike about this person's house/ apartment v. 1
In the contemporary era, there are a vast number of advantages received by global travellers, although there is a huge concern about its impact on either a local community or the green-space. While the negative impact that accompany the growth in the travel sector are obstacles, these certainly do not outweigh the associated benefits. To commence with, by international tourism, there are several nuisances create on people or the environment. First and foremost, by global travellers, air pollution may be drastically elevated. This is because, visitors who are visiting various places and they prefer a local transportation, which will play a crucial role in polluted air. Consequences, local layman will face many serious diseases like, heart disease, and so on. For example, according to survey of Mumbai University, over 25% of pollution had been accrued by those taxis which are used by international sightseers. One more serious limitation, beside this, many foreigners have a habit of poaching, by this, local occupant will lose their valuable animals Such as, a tiger, a lion, and so on. It creates negative influence on not only on a person, but also on a fashion, because many countries where some animals are connecting with their culture. As a result, their ability will vanish in the world. For instance, South-Africa's jungle had lost their status due to mass travel. Alternatively, along with limitations, there are some ascendancy. The most profound one is that many people who can obtain an employment as a tourist guide. To add, civilization is being spread by many tourist guides, which is the best way to promote practice in the world. Since, before arriving international travel some time, many areas have been cleaned by government, local people will acquire motivation towards to maintain clear area. To exemplify, India, where over 70% of people had been increased, their awareness, making clean area by the Swachta Abhiyan. Henceforth to conclude, by transportation, many visitors are polluting clean air and vanishing culture by poaching activity, whilst global travel is the best way through which being tour guide earn a money. I should say that an by foreign tripper, either a local citizen or the environment certainly do not outweigh the associated benefits.
In the contemporary era, there are a vast number of advantages received by global
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
, although there is a huge concern about its impact on either a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
community or the green-space. While the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact that accompany the growth in the travel sector are obstacles, these
certainly
do not outweigh the associated benefits.

To commence with, by international tourism, there are several nuisances create on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or the environment.
First
and foremost, by global
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
, air pollution may be
drastically
elevated. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, visitors who are visiting various
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
places and
they prefer a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
transportation, which will play a crucial role in polluted air. Consequences,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
layman will face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
serious diseases like, heart disease, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
For example
, according to survey of Mumbai University, over 25% of pollution had
been accrued
by those taxis which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by international sightseers.

One more serious limitation, beside this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
foreigners have a habit of poaching, by this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
occupant will lose their valuable animals Such as, a tiger, a lion, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. It creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on a person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on a fashion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
animals are connecting with their culture.
As a result
, their ability will vanish in the world.
For instance
, South-Africa's jungle had lost their status due to mass travel.

Alternatively
, along with limitations, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ascendancy. The most profound one is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can obtain an employment as a tourist guide. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
, civilization is
being spread
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourist guides, which is the best way to promote practice in the world. Since,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
arriving international travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas have
been cleaned
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will acquire motivation towards to maintain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
area. To exemplify, India, where over 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had
been increased
, their awareness, making clean area by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Swachta
Possible spelling mistake found.
Abhiyan
.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Henceforth
to conclude
, by transportation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
visitors are polluting clean air and vanishing culture by poaching activity, whilst global travel is the best way through which being tour guide earn
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "money".
a money
. I should say that
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
by foreign tripper, either a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
citizen or the environment
certainly
do not outweigh the associated benefits.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay 228 Describe a house/apartment that someone you know lives in. You should say: whose house/apartment this iswhere the house/apartment iswhat it looks like insideand explain what you like or dislike about this person's house/ apartment v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
367 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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