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Student should choose a university major that prepares them for high paying careers To what extend do you agree with this statement v.2

Student should choose a university major that prepares them for high paying careers 2
Nowadays, tertiary students are struggling with this question. What do I want to be for a living? . Some people say that students should pick out a university major that allows them to get a well-pay job. In my opinion, I disagree with this statement, and I will explain more details in this essay. Firstly, choosing a university major is an important decision that should be taken from a long term overview linked with their own interests. Moreover, students should take a major which they fell comfortable studying that and think they will enjoy doing that job. Therefore, their selection should be supported in their own interest because If they do not take it into account, they could fail getting their degree. In fact, in the first year at the university, many students change their majors because they do not fell a real link with some subjects. Thus, It is important to select a major related to their interests. Secondly, every day we can see many graduate students looking for a job unsuccessfully. So, they have to consider how many students get a job after graduate, in other words, whether the career is employable. For instance, I have a friend who chose an employable career which is not well pay, but he is happy and got a job in one month after graduate that allows him pay the rent. Thus, is better chose a career in which they can get a job than select a well pay career that would be crowed, and it will be difficult to get in. In conclusion, I disagree with this statement, and two reasons support my preference. First, students should choose a major thinking in their own preference with the idea of getting a job that they will enjoy. Second, they should pick out a career with a good employability rate that allow them to get a job in less time.
Nowadays, tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are struggling with this question. What do I want to be for a living?
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should pick out a university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a well-pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. In my opinion, I disagree with this statement, and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
in this essay.

Firstly
, choosing a university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
decision that should
be taken
from a long term overview linked with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interests.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
which they fell comfortable studying that and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they will enjoy doing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Therefore
, their selection should
be supported
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
If they do not take it into account, they could fail getting their degree. In fact, in the
first
year at the university,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
majors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not fell a real link with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
subjects.
Thus
, It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to select a
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major
related to their interests.

Secondly
, every day we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
graduate
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students
looking for a
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job
unsuccessfully
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consider how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after graduate,
in other words
, whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
is employable.
For instance
, I have a friend who chose an employable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
which is not well pay,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he is happy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in one month after graduate that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
him pay the rent.
Thus
, is better chose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
in which they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
than select a well pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
that would
be crowed
, and it will be difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in.

In conclusion
, I disagree with this statement, and two reasons support my preference.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
thinking in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
preference with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that they will enjoy. Second, they should pick out a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
employability rate that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in less time.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Student should choose a university major that prepares them for high paying careers 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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