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Some students leave their parents when they go to university but some students live with parents, which do you think is a better practice? v.2

Some students leave their parents when they go to university but some students live with parents, which do you think is a better practice? v. 2
There is a growing argument whether living with parents is much more beneficial for university students or not. I believe that if pupils move away from parents' homes, there are more potential positive consequences on their lives. There are a couple of remarkable merits to teenagers who live away from their parents. First of all, many students in this situation tend to become more independent because they are required to spend their money more effectively and practically by themselves. For instance, to meet the individual' s basic needs such as rent, clothes and food, understanding rational spending patterns are essential to students. Through such practices, many of them can gain more actual economic principles and as a result, might enable to take more responsibilities for their lives financially more than those who stay in parents' property relying on their parents' finance assistance. Moreover, many experts point out that some youngsters who set off parents are more likely to be satisfied with their independent lifestyle more than their counterparts. This is because they generally do not need to concern about some conflicts with family members often. Hence, their psychological stability can go up considerably. In this case, good academic performance and grads in each exam in colleges can be expected as they are only allowed to focus on their study profoundly. In conclusion, I am, entirely convinced that there are various benefits for university students living separately from parents more significantly because of encouraging them to become independent substantially and providing them more enjoyable lifestyles.
There is a growing argument whether living with
parents
is much more beneficial for university
students
or not. I believe that if pupils
move
away from
parents&
#039; homes, there are more potential
positive
consequences on their
lives
.

There are a couple of remarkable merits to
teenagers
who
live
away from their
parents
.
First of all
,
many
students
in this situation tend to become more independent
because
they
are required
to spend their money more
effectively
and
practically
by themselves.
For instance
, to
meet
the
individual&
#039; s basic needs such as rent, clothes and food, understanding rational spending patterns are essential to
students
. Through such practices,
many
of them can gain more actual economic principles and
as a result
, might enable to take more responsibilities for their
lives
financially
more than those who stay in
parents&
#039; property relying on their
parents&
#039; finance assistance.

Moreover
,
many
experts point out that
some
youngsters who set off
parents
are more likely to
be satisfied
with their independent lifestyle more than their counterparts. This is
because
they
generally
do not need to concern about
some
conflicts with family members
often
.
Hence
, their psychological stability can go up
considerably
.
In this case
,
good
academic performance and grads in each exam in colleges can be
expected
as they are
only
allowed
to focus on their study
profoundly
.

In conclusion
, I am,
entirely
convinced that there are various benefits for university
students
living
separately
from
parents
more
significantly
because
of encouraging them to become independent
substantially
and providing them more enjoyable lifestyles.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some students leave their parents when they go to university but some students live with parents, which do you think is a better practice? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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