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With the development of technology and science some people believe that there is no great value of artists such as musicians and painters What are the things artists can do but the scientist cannot Why should we encourage the art area v.1

With the development of technology and science some people believe that there is no great value of artists such as musicians and painters What are the things artists can do but the scientist cannot Why should we encourage the art area v. 1
It is true that science and technology, nowadays, have benefitted the whole world in all aspects. Albeit it is undoubted that various technological and scientific developments have tremedously enhanced our lifestyle, but i firmly believe that art, cultural and traditions still play an essential roles in out lives. There are so many things that artists can teach us in the field that scientists have failed to. To begin with, there are concepts such as feelings, emotions and inspiration that comes from arts, whereas science and technology cannot offer them due to its focus on practicality. For example, an audience can indirectly experience and have a feeling of melody from listening to bethoven' s pieces which was composed while he was suffering from unfortunate events. In contrast, science cannot offer this because it is unable to deliver such feeling. Additionally, a piece of abstract art has no meaning in science but has great stories to tell when we consider it an art. In the world of arts, beauty matter in and of themselves whereas in science, the only true measure is whether it works or not. Arts offer us a spritual look of life while scientist teaches us just an opposite. Since the arts brings a lot of benefits to us so I argue that it must and should be encouraged to some extents. Enjoying arts promotes the habit of self-reflection. If you walk into the art gallery, attend to a concert or even just stay to read a book, you almost certainly begin to think about your inner value. For me, this is an invaluable lesson in life because if we begin to reflect about ourselves, we begin not to just become more human, but also consider the lies of other too. Moreover, creative people can boost us emotionally and change our feeling. For example, a lot of Mozart' s fans would love to listen to his music pieces because they feel relieves and motivated, so music can controls our emotions and switch them in a positive ways. In conclusion, there is no denying the fact that science and technology have great value in our life, but in term of arts, it can teaches us many aspects of life that the former cannot
It is true that
science
and technology, nowadays, have
benefitted
the whole world in all aspects. Albeit it
is undoubted
that various technological and scientific developments have
tremedously
enhanced our lifestyle,
but
i
firmly
believe that
art
, cultural and traditions
still
play an essential roles in out
lives
.

There are
so
many
things that artists can teach us in the field that scientists have failed to. To
begin
with, there are concepts such as
feelings
, emotions and inspiration that
comes
from
arts
, whereas
science
and technology cannot offer them due to its focus on practicality.
For example
, an audience can
indirectly
experience and have a
feeling
of melody from listening to
bethoven&
#039; s pieces which
was composed
while he was suffering from unfortunate
events
.
In contrast
,
science
cannot offer this
because
it is unable to deliver such
feeling
.
Additionally
, a piece of abstract
art
has no meaning in
science
but
has great stories to
tell
when we consider it an
art
. In the world of
arts
, beauty matter in and of themselves whereas in
science
, the
only
true measure is whether it works or not.
Arts
offer us a
spritual
look of
life
while scientist teaches us
just
an opposite.

Since the
arts
brings
a lot of
benefits to us
so
I argue that it
must
and should
be encouraged
to
some
extents. Enjoying
arts
promotes the habit of self-reflection. If you walk into the
art
gallery, attend to a concert or even
just
stay to read a book, you almost
certainly
begin
to
think
about your inner value. For me, this is an invaluable lesson in
life
because
if we
begin
to reflect about ourselves, we
begin
not to
just
become more human,
but
also
consider the lies of other too.
Moreover
, creative
people
can boost us
emotionally
and
change
our
feeling
.
For example
,
a lot of
Mozart&
#039; s fans would
love
to listen to his music pieces
because
they feel relieves and motivated,
so
music can
controls
our emotions and switch them in a
positive
ways
.

In conclusion
, there is no denying the fact that
science
and technology have great value in our
life
,
but
in term of
arts
, it can
teaches
us
many
aspects of
life
that the former cannot
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay With the development of technology and science some people believe that there is no great value of artists such as musicians and painters What are the things artists can do but the scientist cannot Why should we encourage the art area v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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