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More developing countries are given aid from international organizations to help them in their development plans. Some people argue that financial aid is important but others suggest that practical aid and advice are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

More developing countries are given aid from international organizations to help them in their development plans. Some people argue that financial aid is important but others suggest that practical aid and advice are more important. v. 1
It has been apparent in recent years that monetary form of support for the government is an issue that many people feel strongly about. However, second half of the people, including myself, believe that support in the form of recommendations is more appropriate. In this essay the arguments surrounding the point of help for government will be examined and the logical conclusion will be given. There is a common belief that material support plays a significant role in a development of a country. In other words, other nations can provide a vital help for citizens of the government, if their help is in a monetary form. As an illustration, this year, in China, coronavirus have spread among all individuals, so other governments have provided necessary remedies and masks in order to prevent this disease. When looking at this example, there is no doubt that material support is more relevant than giving an advice in this condition. Therefore, it is clear, why some people gravitate to this point of view. Nevertheless, turning to the other side of the argument, a growing number of people argue that taking advice from prosperous nations affects considerably to the economy of the country. Nowadays, there are lots of corrupted politicians who can steal the donated money. In that case, recommendations of developed countries can handle this problem. Thus, after analyzing these facts, it is clear why some people support this claim. In conclusion, despite the fact that more countries tend to help their neighbouring states with funding, I personally value that giving recommendations in crucial moments is relevant. So, many countries will be able to advance their well-being.
It has been apparent in recent years that monetary form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is an issue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel
strongly
about.
However
, second half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, including myself, believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
in the form of recommendations is more appropriate. In this essay the arguments surrounding the point of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will
be examined
and the logical conclusion will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

There is a common belief that material
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
plays a significant role in a development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations can provide a vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
for citizens of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
is in a monetary form. As an illustration, this year, in China, coronavirus have spread among all individuals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have provided necessary remedies and masks in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this disease. When looking at this example, there is no doubt that material
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
is more relevant than giving
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "advice".
an advice
in this condition.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gravitate to this point of view.

Nevertheless
, turning to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side of the argument, a growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that taking advice from prosperous nations affects
considerably
to the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Nowadays, there are lots of corrupted politicians who can steal the donated money.
In that case
, recommendations of developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can handle this problem.
Thus
, after analyzing these facts, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
this claim.

In conclusion
, despite the fact that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
states with funding, I
personally
value that giving recommendations in crucial moments is relevant.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will be able to advance their well-being.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay More developing countries are given aid from international organizations to help them in their development plans. Some people argue that financial aid is important but others suggest that practical aid and advice are more important. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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